Myers of Keswick

Hey, so you know how you're a British ex-pat? Not a lot of you? Oh. Ok, remember how you followed that punk band around England for two years in the 90s while working on-and-off in a Dr. Martens store and making jewelry out of safety pins? None of you? Right. Well, you've had tea before, yes? Phew. Then you are familiar with goods and food enjoyed in merry old England. Several posts ago, I mentioned I had quite a bit to say about a few more-special-than-your-average-deli delis, so this next one should appeal to anyone seeking York in New York - Manchester in Manhattan - the West End in the West Village - and other plays on words. This is Myers of Keswick - a place that offers British food, bold claims, violent yet charming advice, and Molly the cat. Read on.

Opened in 1985, Myers of Keswick is a shop that sells homemade as well as boxed, canned, bagged, and wrapped food to be eaten elsewhere, as there is no seating inside. The deli case displays the likes of pork pies, Cornish pasties (pronounced "pass-tees"...says the American), scotch eggs, sausage rolls, and curry lamb pies. It is also where they keep their bangers, pork/leek/ginger sausage, black pudding, Irish bacon, and Cumberland sausage. According to the store's website, "These are the only authentic Cumberland sausages made in the USA." That is a statement I cannot verify, but I applaud the immodesty.

The floor to ceiling shelves contain beans, peas, biscuits, teas, crisps, juices, condiments, sodas, baking products, soups, jams, candies, cereals, and basically anything else you might desire. Brands include Heinz, Branston, Weetabix, McVitie's, Sarson's, Baxters, HP, Vimto, Cadbury, and on and on. If you have trouble finding what you want, just ask the staff. On one occasion, when I inquired after toffee and digestive cookies, the man behind the counter correctly inferred I would be making banoffee pie. With his delightful English accent, he suggested which cookies to use, quelled my fears of boiling cans of condensed milk, and advised that when it comes to making the crust, I should, "Kill it with buh-uh." Of course, "buh-uh" meant "butter," and of course, I repeated that phrase to anyone who would listen for the next four days.

Upon entering Myers of Keswick, you will find a black and white tiled floor, that deli case to your left, those stocked shelves to your right, refrigerated items behind glass and wood cabinet-style doors at the back of the room, items like mugs, t-shirts, baby onesies, and flags behind the counter, and Molly the cat lounging around. You may have already heard of Molly, seen her on tv, or read about her in such publications as the New York Times. In the Spring of 2006, she managed to trap herself in the wall for two weeks, drawing crowds of concerned cat-lovers, pet psychics, members of the media, and ultimately, rescuers. I don't even want to know what she ate in the walls to survive, but I am sure it was less appetizing than the shop's chicken and mushroom pie.

So head over to Myers of Keswick when you are hungry for a scone (available in plain or raisin, with or without clotted cream and jam), when you want homemade mince pie at the holidays, or when you are feeling nostalgic for those days of punk in pub basements. Still no on that last one? Fine.

Myers of Keswick - 634 Hudson Street, between Horatio & Jane Streets

Tea & Sympathy

English food tends to get a bum rap. Maybe it's because the names of some dishes are straight up unappetizing - spotted dick? toad-in-the-hole? blood pudding? Maybe it's because people envision endless meat stews and meat pies and yep, meat puddings. I don't want to venture additional guesses, since I don't know everyone's reasoning and don't want to offend my future British husband - who I have not yet met, but who I expect to be adorable. My imaginary husband and our imaginary children (who say things like "mum" and "loo" - so precious) can take heart in the fact that when I say I love Tea & Sympathy and its English food, I am not lying.

For starters, Tea & Sympathy is a super cute, super quaint, and SUPER small restaurant on Greenwich Avenue. With only ten tables crammed one next to the other, it can't help but have a cozy feel. Floral tablecloths, faux bookcases, and shelves lined with teapots and mismatched cups add to the charm - as do the framed drawings and photos of the royal family and other British icons. It doesn't hurt that the waitresses have fantastic English accents and sunny dispositions.

As for the food, the menu covers a lot of ground. There are traditional dishes like shepherd's pie, bangers & mash, and Yorkshire pudding. However, the options include more than what you might find at most British pubs around the city - there's the scotch egg (a hard boiled egg wrapped in cumberland sausage), tweed kettle pie (salmon & cod in a parsley sauce, topped with mashed potatoes), and coronation chicken (chicken salad with curry) among other dishes. There are also various salads, soups, sandwiches, and scones.

Speaking of those last two, Tea & Sympathy offers "Afternoon Tea," which is available for both lunch and dinner. It arrives on a three-tiered serving tray and includes a selection of finger sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and jam, and an assortment of desserts. It is accompanied by a pot of tea, of course, in whatever flavor you choose. Tea & Sympathy also serves a full English breakfast on the weekends and a Sunday roast on (logically) Sundays.

Ready for the bonus? The store (Carry On Tea & Sympathy) directly adjacent to the restaurant sells all things British. Did you want a certain European candy you can't seem to find anywhere else? (Lion bars are my weakness). Are you looking for an ornate teapot to call your very own? (Mine has a map of the world on it). Do you have an obsession with the Union Jack and think those cufflinks would be the perfect addition to your collection? (Um, that's all you). In addition to the goodies, you can even place a take-out order of food from the boys at the store and chat for a bit while you wait. If one winks and calls you "darling," so be it.

Bonus Part 2 - On the other side of the store is a fish and chips eatery under the same ownership as Tea & Sympathy. It is wittily named A Salt & Battery, and it's worth a visit for all things fried. More on that in a subsequent post.

I recommend Tea & Sympathy to anyone looking for an authentic bit of England. It's best to go in small groups, as the tiny establishment isn't set up to accommodate large parties. Also, they don't take reservations, and your party will not be seated until all have arrived. There is a wooden bench outside on which you may sit while you wait, or you can pop over to the store if it's too cold to linger outside. So take your date who fancies himself an anglophile, your cousin who just spent a semester in London, or your mum. If any of them know my future husband, have them tell him I say hi.

Tea & Sympathy - 108 Greenwich Avenue, between West 13th & Jane Streets

The Spotted Pig

There's a lot of hype around The Spotted Pig thanks to its chef (April Bloomfield), owners (Ken Friedman and Ms. Bloomfield), investors (Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich were early ones), and accolades (one star from The New York Times in 2006 and a seemingly brighter star from Michelin in 2005, the first year the European guide rated restaurants in New York). These names, individually and at times in partnership with one another, are responsible for The Breslin Bar and Dining Room (currently in the Ace Hotel), The Rusty Knot (a bar proximate to The Spotted Pig and adjacent to the Hudson River), John Dory (now closed), Otto, Babbo, Lupa, Casa Mono, Del Posto, and Becco - to name but a few of many. The Spotted Pig even made an appearance on NBC's "The Office" when Jim and Karen went to Manhattan for interviews before returning to Scranton for a little more Jim/Pam will-they-won't-they (spoiler alert: they will). However, these are not the reasons I go to The Spotted Pig. I buy into the hype on account of the food.

The menu is organized into Bar Snacks, Plates, Entrees, and Sides. Some of the Bar Snacks are large enough to qualify as appetizers (hi, chicken liver toast. I love you), some of the Plates are large enough to qualify as main courses (I see you, gnudi, with your ricotta dumpling tastiness and brown butter/sage sauce), and some of the Sides can be cobbled together for a hearty vegetarian meal (roasted onions and spiced lentils? Come a little closer). The food is basically English fare with Italian flare.

You'll find deviled eggs, mixed olives, and roll mops (pickled herring with onions and creme fraiche) in the Bar Snacks. Plates include smoked haddock chowder with homemade crackers, fried duck egg with ramps, and a prosciutto/ricotta tart with marjoram. As for Entrees, there's the grilled beef tongue with duck fat potatoes and pickled beets (potentially for the more adventurous eater) and the burger (for everyone else). It's a thick, chargrilled patty with roquefort cheese on a chargrilled bun. It comes with a side of garlic/rosemary shoestring fries, which are insanely addictive, even after you've promised yourself, "Ok, this is my LAST one."

So what I'm saying is, the food's good. So is the booze selection, as this is a pub after all. There are the usual liquor options, an extensive wine list, some unusual beers, and a couple cask ales. These may be enjoyed at your table or at the two bars - one on the main level and one upstairs. Food may also be enjoyed at the bars or by columns when tables are full.

Speaking of those tables, like at other wildly popular Manhattan restaurants that don't take reservations, they're hard to snag during peak hours. If you don't get there early (dinner starts at 5:30pm) or mind stopping in late (the kitchen closes at 2:00am seven nights a week), you can wait at either bar in the meantime, or you may leave your name and number with the host who will call when a table is available. So says their website, at least. I've never attempted that last bit - opting instead to sip a brewsky and stare longingly at occupied seats.

Speaking of those seats, some are merely cushioned windowsills, some are banquettes, and many are low, backless stools. Diners here come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, but I gotta say, those stools don't seem appropriate for everyone. Of course, by "everyone," I basically mean "my mom." I don't know for sure, but I get the feeling most middle-aged people with back problems wouldn't arm-wrestle each other over the privilege to perch on one of these. I do know for sure the idea of my mom arm-wrestling anyone is hilarious. Disclaimer: the restaurant does not encourage arm-wrestling at all, as far as I know.

The proximity of diners is also noteworthy. When the room is full and the bars are packed, patrons are in close quarters. The noise level increases with the crowd, and one becomes privy to unexpected conversations. I now know about the active sex life of a 34 year old hipster and the bowel habits of an overweight divorcee. I suspect he was lying - I fear she was not.

Somehow, the waitstaff handle the chaos in stride. Sure, there are times when you may have to grab someone's attention as he/she bobs and weaves through the tightly pressed crowd, but you ultimately get the sense everything's under control. The specials are announced calmly with notes as to which are personal favorites, the drinks are delivered promptly, and plates are brought and removed efficiently. Even with the crowd looming inches away, you're offered a dessert menu as if to say, "Enjoy your meal to the fullest, pal. We won't turn the table until you're ready, friend."

While we're on desserts, I'm going to take this moment to make a plea. The banoffee. I need it back in my life. It's a slice of banana/toffee/chocolate/fresh cream fantastic, and I'm sad it has been off the menu for quite some time. I've resorted to making it at home. Pig, I'd rather you just do it for me. There, I said it.

Between the atmosphere (unsurprisingly, pig paraphernalia abounds - there's even a hanging model outside in lieu of a sign), the crowd, and the food, it all adds up to an interesting night out. Take your old college buddy. Take your husband. Take your mom - just sit on the stool yourself.

The Spotted Pig - 314 West 11th Street, at the corner of Greenwich Street