Hudson Clearwater

We all love a little mystery. It's why multiple volumes of Sherlock Holmes stories exist, people have been flocking to the shores of Loch Ness for decades, and Sarah McLachlan spent a good part of the 90s building one for broom skirt-wearing girls with choker necklaces and perfume oil from The Body Shop. However, the greatest mystery of the current New York restaurant scene might involve Hudson Clearwater - namely, where the balls is the door?

The restaurant's address is 447 Hudson Street, but this leads to an abandoned retail space with papered windows and notices from the NYC Building Department. So...not where we're dining? No. Instead, head around the corner to Morton Street, where there's still no indication you are anywhere near your ultimate destination. Do we just walk through this first door then? Of course not. You're going to want to try that next shady-looking one with all the graffiti; it's cut into the random wall seemingly beyond the building you originally intended to enter.

Everyone opens this door slowly, expecting to trespass into a sketchy back alley serving as home to Crackhead Larry, but once through, you'll find yourself in a quaint open courtyard occupied by no such fiend. Traversing this space leads to two outdoor staircases - one leading upwards to a second story and one leading downstairs to a basement level. It all feels very "Choose Your Own Adventure," but you'll want to head upstairs for the main restaurant. The second set of steps leads down to Hudson Clearwater's private dining room, which can accommodate up to twelve guests.

Once upstairs, you'll find yourself inside a dimly lit, wood-adorned room with a chef's counter and a sunken dining area. Girls in their twenties and couples on dates tend to fill the seats at the chef's counter. Much like at dell'anima, this is where all of the cooking action takes place, and if he's not insanely busy, you can chat up the very guy preparing your meal. Some tables are located in this entrance area, but the rest are down a few steps beyond the counter. The bar is situated in this second section too, and patrons may enjoy a full meal here in addition to cocktails.

Alright guys, we made it. We can put our compasses away and relax. It's 'bout time we get to eatin', and lucky for us, they're sending out an amuse bouche already (a breakfast radish and kale salad bite last time I was here, though I expect it changes often). Reading the menu shows the options are limited, but eating said options proves they. are. delicious. holla.

The essentially American selection includes the likes of butter clams with gnocchi, duck leg confit, black sea bass, and cured pork belly. Vegetarians may be satisfied with a hearty and flavorful root vegetable risotto, though salads and side dishes are not to be missed either [insert flirty wave at the potato-cauliflower gratin here]. You'll want to save room for dessert, as the likes of dark chocolate and cherry ganache as well as a bosc pear tarte tatin have been known to grace the menu.

Though the ambiance is refined casual, and the food is upscale, the prices are thankfully moderate. Appetizers can get into the teens, but every entree is under $20. At least that's how the restaurant has been operating thus far, and it would be a damn dirty shame if those responsible for pricing made a liar out of me.

So head to Hudson Clearwater with that friend who doesn't like to leave the West Village, for that blind date your co-worker has been pressuring you to go on, or for Aunt Nellie's birthday with eleven family members curious to check out that private room. Just draw everyone a map before you go and hope for the best.

Hudson Clearwater - 447 Hudson Street (though entrance is on Morton Street between Hudson and Greenwich Streets)

Baoguette/Pho Sure

There is a Vietnamese restaurant in the West Village that makes me laugh. I'm not entirely sure if it's the menu items named "Pho Real" and "Pho Sure," or if it's the wall of painted ladies flashing side boob, but I'm amused whenever I'm there. It is casual, it is cheap, and most importantly, I enjoy my meal every time. Fo'real.

According to their website, Baoguette is a chain of Vietnamese sandwich shops (though I'm under the impression some of their locations have closed). The location we are discussing today, Baoguette/Pho Sure, is a sit-down restaurant with a take-out counter and a couple two-tops up front. You may therefore sit in a banquette under draped fabric hiding the air duct by the kitchen, or you may check yourself out in the mirrored wall as you wait for your order by the door. Either way, you'll end up with some flavorful food. Fo'sure.

Menu items include a green papaya salad ($6), sticky rice (with barbecue chicken, chinese sausage, scallion and peanuts, $8), various noodle dishes ($8-$13), and of course, the aforementioned Pho Real and Pho Sure (beef soups, $8). The expected spring and summer rolls are also available ($6-$8), as are multiple sandwich options (like spicy catfish, sloppy bao, and a couple vegetarian choices, $6-$8). My personal favorite is the "Baoguette Classic Banh Mi Sandwich," which is pate, pork, pickled daikon, carrots, cucumber, and cilantro on a warm homemade baguette, though I ask that the cilantro be omitted. (Hey, the Food Network's Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten, would do the same...because she doesn't like cilantro...or so she mentioned once...I think). You have the option of mild, medium, or spicy, and your answer determines how much Sriracha hot sauce is added. I implore you not to do what my sister did, cherished reader, which was douse her appetizer in Sriracha and then order her sandwich "spicy." That proved to be a sweaty mishap after which she never tasted anything again. Ok, not fo'real, but it was an intense lunch she will likely never repeat.

While you are dining, you might satisfy your thirst with grass jelly soy milk or young coconut juice. I tend to prefer Vietnamese iced coffee with its sweetened condensed milk, but you do you.

Go to Baoguette/Pho Sure when you want an inexpensive dinner in a relatively quiet space, as you rarely have to wait for a table. Otherwise, head over for take-out at lunch when the restaurant tends to be busier. As you wait for your meal, try guessing the age of the older woman who sometimes makes the sandwiches behind the front counter - I think she's 106. Fo'sure.

Baoguette/Pho Sure - 120 Christopher Street, between Bedford & Bleecker Streets

Wallse

There are nights that call for a slightly upscale dining experience, but you've had your fill lately of French cuisine, Italian indulgences, and all shades of Asian infusions. You're thinking European elegance is the right move, but how many times can you go for a bistro, a tapas restaurant, a cafe? Well kids, this is the night you opt for Austrian fare and make a reservation at Wallse. Tell you more? Why, I'd be delighted.

Wallse is one of three restaurants from Chef Kurt Gutenbrunner - Cafe Sabarsky on the Upper East Side and Blaue Gans in Tribeca are the other two. (Sidenote: his wine bar, The Upholstery Store, is two doors down from Wallse, and Cafe Kristall should be coming to SoHo this winter). After having worked in Austria, Switzerland, Germany, and New York (with David Bouley and then as executive chef at Monkey Bar), Chef Gutenbrunner opened Wallse as his first New York restaurant. This venture earned him two stars from the New York Times in 2004 and one star from Michelin each year since New York restaurants have been eligible for such an honor. Located on a quiet West Village corner near neighborhood hot spots like The Spotted Pig, Perry St, Barbuto, and myriad wine bars, Wallse both fits in (regarding ambiance and quality) and stands out (thanks to its unique cuisine).

The restaurant is comprised of two rooms, the first of which is equipped with a bar. The floors and seats are black, the walls and tablecloths are white, fresh flowers and plants fill the large windows, and the standout design element is the collection of paintings adorning the walls. Over-sized canvases loom over diners, demonstrating Gutenbrunner's desire to marry art and food; an integration which was the impetus to situate his Cafe Sabarsky in the Neue Galerie along Museum Mile.

So how's the food? Not too shabby. You'll find words like spatzle, goulash, wiener schnitzel, and kavalierspitz on the menu. You'll find ingredients like sour cream, cucumbers, lingonberries, and celery root throughout the dishes. Most importantly, you'll find balanced, tasty options like an appetizer of marinated pork loin with smoked eel and prunes, an entree of olive oil poached wild striped bass with sweet pepper marinade, or a roasted veal chop with spinach and chanterelles. Vegetarians won't go hungry either thanks to selections like potato ravioli with chanterelles and potato-chive broth, artichokes and spring root vegetables in a light basil sauce, and side dishes of creamed spinach and potato-cucumber salad.

Of course, to partake in this distinctive experience, it's going to cost a bit more than your average potato salad and apple strudel. At last check, appetizers ranged from $12-$19, entrees were $22-$42, and desserts were $9-$12. Side dishes were available for $9, and Austrian and German cheeses ran about the same. You may also opt to create your own tasting menu by selecting four courses for $75 or six courses for $98, as long as the whole table is on board.

So make a reservation when you're itching for something new, you finally got that promotion at work, and your handsome Viennese boyfriend is longing for a taste of home...assuming anyone at home went to culinary school at the age of 15 like Chef Gutenbrunner and can make a meal just as delicious.

Wallse - 344 West 11th Street, at the corner of Washington Street

Myers of Keswick

Hey, so you know how you're a British ex-pat? Not a lot of you? Oh. Ok, remember how you followed that punk band around England for two years in the 90s while working on-and-off in a Dr. Martens store and making jewelry out of safety pins? None of you? Right. Well, you've had tea before, yes? Phew. Then you are familiar with goods and food enjoyed in merry old England. Several posts ago, I mentioned I had quite a bit to say about a few more-special-than-your-average-deli delis, so this next one should appeal to anyone seeking York in New York - Manchester in Manhattan - the West End in the West Village - and other plays on words. This is Myers of Keswick - a place that offers British food, bold claims, violent yet charming advice, and Molly the cat. Read on.

Opened in 1985, Myers of Keswick is a shop that sells homemade as well as boxed, canned, bagged, and wrapped food to be eaten elsewhere, as there is no seating inside. The deli case displays the likes of pork pies, Cornish pasties (pronounced "pass-tees"...says the American), scotch eggs, sausage rolls, and curry lamb pies. It is also where they keep their bangers, pork/leek/ginger sausage, black pudding, Irish bacon, and Cumberland sausage. According to the store's website, "These are the only authentic Cumberland sausages made in the USA." That is a statement I cannot verify, but I applaud the immodesty.

The floor to ceiling shelves contain beans, peas, biscuits, teas, crisps, juices, condiments, sodas, baking products, soups, jams, candies, cereals, and basically anything else you might desire. Brands include Heinz, Branston, Weetabix, McVitie's, Sarson's, Baxters, HP, Vimto, Cadbury, and on and on. If you have trouble finding what you want, just ask the staff. On one occasion, when I inquired after toffee and digestive cookies, the man behind the counter correctly inferred I would be making banoffee pie. With his delightful English accent, he suggested which cookies to use, quelled my fears of boiling cans of condensed milk, and advised that when it comes to making the crust, I should, "Kill it with buh-uh." Of course, "buh-uh" meant "butter," and of course, I repeated that phrase to anyone who would listen for the next four days.

Upon entering Myers of Keswick, you will find a black and white tiled floor, that deli case to your left, those stocked shelves to your right, refrigerated items behind glass and wood cabinet-style doors at the back of the room, items like mugs, t-shirts, baby onesies, and flags behind the counter, and Molly the cat lounging around. You may have already heard of Molly, seen her on tv, or read about her in such publications as the New York Times. In the Spring of 2006, she managed to trap herself in the wall for two weeks, drawing crowds of concerned cat-lovers, pet psychics, members of the media, and ultimately, rescuers. I don't even want to know what she ate in the walls to survive, but I am sure it was less appetizing than the shop's chicken and mushroom pie.

So head over to Myers of Keswick when you are hungry for a scone (available in plain or raisin, with or without clotted cream and jam), when you want homemade mince pie at the holidays, or when you are feeling nostalgic for those days of punk in pub basements. Still no on that last one? Fine.

Myers of Keswick - 634 Hudson Street, between Horatio & Jane Streets

Perry St

First things first - Perry St is indeed located on Perry Street, but its entrance is around the corner on West Street. This information should save you the inconvenience of walking into the lobby of the building's residential section, and it should save the doorman of said section from redirecting yet another disoriented diner. You're welcome.

So yes, the restaurant is located on the ground floor of a Richard Meier building - a building comprised of swanky multi-million dollar condominiums, one of which is home to Perry St chef/owner, Jean-Georges Vongerichten. Needless to say, the restaurant is not too shabby a space. From the outdoor slate tiles by the mini infinity pool-esque water feature, one enters through the glass vestibule into a sleek space of muted tones and minimalist decor with industrial touches. The host/hostess stand is in front of you, the lounge is to the left (beyond which is the coat check), the bar is to the rear, and the L-shaped dining room is to the right.

The lounge area is outfitted with barely-plush couches, leather benches, and knee-high tables under dangling filament bulbs. In the main area, diners sit on white leather banquettes and armchairs at rectangular tables or around high-backed rounded banquettes at round tables. Light in the main room is provided by shaded floor lamps arching over tables and by the sunlight pouring through the floor-to-ceiling windows through which one spies the Hudson River beyond the West Side Highway. Glare is tempered by lightly colored sheer shades, which complement the dark chocolate carpet, light gray cement pillars, and varying hues of wood throughout the room.

Like at other Vongerichten restaurants throughout and beyond Manhattan, you can ultimately count on a great meal with attentive service. Dinner at Perry St will be a smidge more casual than his namesake at the Trump International Hotel & Tower at Central Park West. That's ok, because the prices are a smidge lower accordingly. The atmosphere at Perry St will be less ornate than his Spice Market in the Meatpacking District - less boisterous than the ambiance at Mercer Kitchen in Soho - less stodgy than the nuances at JoJo on the Upper East Side - more refined than the cafe-like touches at Nougatine back at Central Park. That's ok too, because it seems the point of Perry St is a return to basics, in which attention is predominantly focused on the food.

The food at Perry St is American at its core with French and Asian influences. The meal starts with an amuse bouche from the chef, usually a soup, which varies with the season. From there, you may order a la carte or from the price-fixed menu. The restaurant offers a $26 lunch and a $38 dinner, both of which are three courses (two plates and a dessert; additional plates are $13 each). The dinner promotion is offered between 5:30pm and 6:00pm as well as after 9:30pm everyday except Saturday.

Appetizers at Perry St include the likes of a beet salad with goat cheese and champagne mango vinaigrette, crispy poached eggs with caviar and vodka cream, and sweet chili crab dumplings with cilantro and sugar snap peas. Entrees include slowly baked arctic char with white asparagus and basil vinaigrette, fried chicken with a spicy pea puree and pickled onions, and braised rabbit with lemongrass and ginger sweet corn. The desserts are artfully composed as well. At one point, there was a chocolate mousse with crystallized violets on the menu; at another time, white chocolate and meringue with yuzu sorbet.

So make a reservation at Perry St for your favorite forty year old who would prefer a quiet birthday celebration if you must celebrate this new decade at all, for your date with the woman you are finally ready to introduce to your friends (maybe meet them afterward for cocktails at the Jane Hotel five blocks north), for lunch with Calvin Klein and Nicole Kidman who were rumored to live upstairs (in separate apartments, of course) at one point or another. That is, if you actually know them.

Perry St - 176 Perry Street, at the corner of West Street

Alta

To call Alta a tapas restaurant is somewhat of a misnomer. The food portions are small, but the selection is not Spanish. However, if someone were to ask what type of restaurant it is, "tapas" would be a more succinct answer than "an establishment offering small plates of Mediterranean dishes, which are unconventional in their composition, yet which encompass a flavor profile particular to that part of the world." Not only is the truth unwieldy, it sounds obnoxious.

Even the decor is and is not Spanish. Whereas the color scheme (saffron yellow and terracotta red) screams Espana, the stone fireplace in the main dining room and solid wood beams bordering the mezzanine whisper Swiss ski chalet. Wait. Mezzanine? Say what? Ok, let's back up.

Alta is located in a townhouse in the West Village. The entrance is steps down from the sidewalk, making wheelchair access a tricky business. Just inside, extending quite a ways back to the host/hostess station, is the wood bar lined with many leather-cushioned stools. Beyond this is the beginnings of the main dining room, the rest of which is up three stairs illuminated by lanterns resting on each. Up many more stairs to the left is that mezzanine. It is U-shaped, shares the same floor as the kitchen, and overlooks both the dining area on the main level and the metal chandelier hanging from a chain from the ceiling. Rumor has it a private table is accessible via the kitchen. In all my visits, however, I have never been seated here. Word on the street (or more accurately, Alta's website) is that private parties may be held in two adjoining rooms overlooking West 10th Street. These rooms are a mystery to me as well. I trust they are as warmly lit as the rest of the restaurant and outfitted with the same sturdy wood tables.

So the menu. It is extensive. It waivers between ordinary (marcona almonds) and unexpectedly delicious (brussel sprouts with apple, creme fraiche, and pistachio pesto). Whereas tuna tartare is available at plenty of restaurants (ordinary), Alta's incorporates hearts of palm and macadamia nuts (unexpectedly delicious). Many of the dishes contain Mediterranean elements (lamb meatballs) without being traditional (said meatballs are paired with a butternut squash foam). With approximately forty five dishes covering poultry, four-legged beasts, seafood, vegetables, pasta, cheese, and grains, there should be something for everyone. For $420, your table can even order "the whole shebang," which, as you may have guessed, clever reader, is the entire menu. This bold move is for the truly indecisive and exceptionally hungry.

My recommendations for Alta include:

1. Making reservations - It is a busy place, and you'll want to guarantee a table.
2. Bringing cash or American Express - That is all they accept.
3. Ordering the Philadelphia Truffle Surprise - It sounds like an unappetizing concoction involving phyllo dough, cream cheese, and truffle oil, but it has been a crowd pleaser every time.

So go with that guy who doesn't like to venture above 14th Street, that girl who tends to graze off your plate anyway, or that one friend who keeps saying, "We should dress up next time we go out!" Jeans certainly fly at Alta, as the dress code is casual, but that buddy shouldn't feel out of place by sprucing it up a bit either - just like at any other establishment offering small plates of Mediterranean dishes, which are unconventional in their composition, yet which encompass a flavor profile particular to that part of the world.

Alta - 64 West 10th Street, between 5th and 6th Avenues

Tea & Sympathy

English food tends to get a bum rap. Maybe it's because the names of some dishes are straight up unappetizing - spotted dick? toad-in-the-hole? blood pudding? Maybe it's because people envision endless meat stews and meat pies and yep, meat puddings. I don't want to venture additional guesses, since I don't know everyone's reasoning and don't want to offend my future British husband - who I have not yet met, but who I expect to be adorable. My imaginary husband and our imaginary children (who say things like "mum" and "loo" - so precious) can take heart in the fact that when I say I love Tea & Sympathy and its English food, I am not lying.

For starters, Tea & Sympathy is a super cute, super quaint, and SUPER small restaurant on Greenwich Avenue. With only ten tables crammed one next to the other, it can't help but have a cozy feel. Floral tablecloths, faux bookcases, and shelves lined with teapots and mismatched cups add to the charm - as do the framed drawings and photos of the royal family and other British icons. It doesn't hurt that the waitresses have fantastic English accents and sunny dispositions.

As for the food, the menu covers a lot of ground. There are traditional dishes like shepherd's pie, bangers & mash, and Yorkshire pudding. However, the options include more than what you might find at most British pubs around the city - there's the scotch egg (a hard boiled egg wrapped in cumberland sausage), tweed kettle pie (salmon & cod in a parsley sauce, topped with mashed potatoes), and coronation chicken (chicken salad with curry) among other dishes. There are also various salads, soups, sandwiches, and scones.

Speaking of those last two, Tea & Sympathy offers "Afternoon Tea," which is available for both lunch and dinner. It arrives on a three-tiered serving tray and includes a selection of finger sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and jam, and an assortment of desserts. It is accompanied by a pot of tea, of course, in whatever flavor you choose. Tea & Sympathy also serves a full English breakfast on the weekends and a Sunday roast on (logically) Sundays.

Ready for the bonus? The store (Carry On Tea & Sympathy) directly adjacent to the restaurant sells all things British. Did you want a certain European candy you can't seem to find anywhere else? (Lion bars are my weakness). Are you looking for an ornate teapot to call your very own? (Mine has a map of the world on it). Do you have an obsession with the Union Jack and think those cufflinks would be the perfect addition to your collection? (Um, that's all you). In addition to the goodies, you can even place a take-out order of food from the boys at the store and chat for a bit while you wait. If one winks and calls you "darling," so be it.

Bonus Part 2 - On the other side of the store is a fish and chips eatery under the same ownership as Tea & Sympathy. It is wittily named A Salt & Battery, and it's worth a visit for all things fried. More on that in a subsequent post.

I recommend Tea & Sympathy to anyone looking for an authentic bit of England. It's best to go in small groups, as the tiny establishment isn't set up to accommodate large parties. Also, they don't take reservations, and your party will not be seated until all have arrived. There is a wooden bench outside on which you may sit while you wait, or you can pop over to the store if it's too cold to linger outside. So take your date who fancies himself an anglophile, your cousin who just spent a semester in London, or your mum. If any of them know my future husband, have them tell him I say hi.

Tea & Sympathy - 108 Greenwich Avenue, between West 13th & Jane Streets

dell'anima

dell'anima (immediate side note - they don't seem to capitalize the name on their window or website, so neither shall I) is one of those places that you pass by, glance in, and think, "Well, that looks nice." Any evening, any day of the week or time of the year, this small Italian restaurant seems to glow from within, luring in passersby - much like the grail-shaped beacon upon Monty Python's Castle Anthrax but with fewer sex-starved nymphets.

It is situated both on 8th Avenue and West 4th Street off the corner of Jane Street. Huhwhat? West Village, you so crazy, I think I wanna have your baby...and other Salt N Pepa lyrics. The main entrance is on 8th Avenue, but dell'anima backs onto West 4th Street, where in warmer weather, customers may dine al fresco at one of the seven or so tables lining the sidewalk. Inside the restaurant, customers may sit at the raised table along the left wall, at the standard-height tables throughout the room, along the bar to the right of the entrance, or along the counter facing the open kitchen at the rear left of the space. When these fifty or so seats are filled with guests, and additional patrons mingle in the small space behind those seated at the bar, dell'anima pulses with energy.

Much of that energy is attributable to the staff. The hostesses up front have always been friendly, even when one might be struggling to hear you over the chattering customers in the background, or the other is relaying jackets to the coat check in cooler weather. The bartenders are attentive, whether you are simply ordering a cocktail or eating a full meal at their bar. The management seems eager to please, as noted one visit when a problem with one dish was not only corrected but removed from the bill.

Most remarkable for their liveliness, however, may be the chefs at that back counter. Their presence is felt no matter where you are seated, but if you are offered one of the raised chairs facing them, take it. The resulting show is impressive, as two people handle boiling pastas, grilled items, scoops of this, and pinches of that in what looks to be the tightest of quarters. Sure, a lot of fast-paced effort goes into dishes at other restaurants too, but at dell'anima, you get a front row seat. A rather hot front row seat, mind you, as you are not all that far from those boiling pastas and grills.

So, the food? I like it. I am a fan of the ever changing bruschette, which are served in small bowls with grilled bread on the side. I am also partial to the homemade pastas, as they are typically well composed dishes. Since the pastas are advertised as primi (first courses, after appetizers) rather than secondi (main dishes), the rather small sizes are reasonable. The menu changes fairly regularly - a sign of dell'anima's eagerness to deliver a flavorful, seasonal meal - so appetizers and entrees enjoyed in the past may no longer be available. Fingers crossed more delicious items appear in their place.

Alright, friends. Time to address the salty elephant in the (sleek yet cozy) room. You can get away from dell'anima having had a terrific meal with interesting wine and cocktails. You can also get away with high blood pressure and a serious thirst. As noted in other reviews on other sites, some of the dishes are seasoned with a heavy hand. A heavy, salty hand laden with the saltiest salt that ever salted. During my first several visits, I personally hadn't found this to be the case - but then there was that OTHER time. Oh boy.

I recommend dell'anima for a time when you are in the mood for an upscale neighborhood spot but are tired of your usual haunts. If your neighborhood is not the West Village (as it is not mine either), it can be worth the trek. Try to make a reservation beforehand, as those seats of varying heights fill up quickly most evenings. They are thankfully available for weekend brunch too (Saturday and Sunday from 11:00am until 3:00pm), so don't feel you have to limit your dell'anima dining experience to nighttime. Good food tastes just as delightful in the daylight.

dell'anima - 38 8th Avenue, between Jane & West 12th Streets (rear door on West 4th Street)

Brunch, Part 1 - Crunked Edition

As we head into the weekend, I thought now would be a good time to share a couple noteworthy brunch spots. There will be more in the future, so this is just Part 1. Today's theme is "Urrbody in the brunch gettin' tipsy." You see, brunch in NYC is a great time to catch up with old acquaintances, spend time with the in-laws, and recap last night with your best friends. It's also the perfect opportunity to get moderately intoxicated or flat out sloppy in the middle of the day with no one judging you. Here are two places where that can happen inexpensively.

1) Essex - 120 Essex Street, at the corner of Rivington Street

For $18*, you get an entree and three cocktails. The selection of entrees is extensive, ranging from multiple egg incarnations (benedict, baked over ham with vegetables and cheese, scrambled with chorizo and onions, matzo brei, etc) to pancakes to mac & cheese with chicken apple sausage to french toast with fruit to house-cured gravlax and beyond. The choices are many, and the portions are large.

As for the booze, you have a selection of bloody marys, screwdrivers, or mimosas. The first three are included in the price of brunch, and any additional ones you may choose to knock back after that are $3*. Then again, I once had a frazzled waitress who just left the pitcher of mimosas on the table for us to handle - and handle it we did.

So here are the particulars: brunch is served Saturday from 11:00am until 4:30pm and until 8:00pm on Sunday. Alcohol is not served on Sunday until noon, so coffee (iced or hot), tea (iced or hot), espresso, cappuccino, and soda are complimentary until then. You'll want to make a reservation ahead of time (via phone or opentable.com), as the room fills up with a quickness, and you'll want to bring cash, as that is the only payment Essex accepts during brunch.

2) Fiddlesticks - 56 Greenwich Avenue, between Perry & Charles Streets

For $10, you get an entree and two cocktails. Ten dollars?! Ten dollars. The entree selection is rather basic - omelets, eggs benedict, french toast or pancakes with fresh fruit, burger with various toppings, fish and chips (this is a pub, after all) - but you get a decent portion for the money. The egg dishes come with hearty homestyle potatoes, and when you ask for ketchup, it comes in a squeezey bottle shaped like a fat tomato. Charming!

As for the drinks, you have a choice of bloody marys, screwdrivers, mimosas, kir royales, Bud draught, or wine (red or white). The menu states the brunch drinks are complimentary, and Fiddlesticks will not substitute. Between vodka, champagne, beer, and wine, I don't know what else you're trying to drink, but I guess they've been asked enough times to warrant the disclaimer.

The particulars: brunch is served both Saturday and Sunday from 11:30am until 4:00pm. When the weather is nice, outdoor dining is available on the sidewalk out front. If you would rather sit at one of these tables than inside, get here early, as they tend to fill up quickly. Hey, if you're tired, you can always catch a drunken nap when you're done.

*UPDATE: The prices have increased. I repeat. The prices have increased. Brunch at Essex is now $20 for the entree and three cocktails, and any additional cocktail you may wish to purchase beyond the first three is now $4. (sigh) and so it goes...and other Billy Joel lyrics.

Tartine

I need to have patience when I go to the wee French restaurant Tartine. This West Village hot spot doesn't take reservations (or credit cards, FYI), so it operates on a first-come-first-served basis. On nights when people come out in droves, it may be quite some time until you are seated, let alone served.

There is no room inside the restaurant for patrons to wait for a table. They are therefore relegated to the sidewalk where the line extends down West 11th Street and often wraps around to West 4th. On my patient nights, part of the Tartine fun is in the waiting. You make friends with others standing on line, you decide whether or not you'll order what those dining outside are eating, and you catch up with your friend, because hey, that's why you guys came out tonight anyway, right?

On other nights, I'm cranky. No promise of reasonably priced delectable French food nor memories of past positive experiences here is enough to keep me waiting for upwards of half an hour. On those nights, I'm grateful I live in Manhattan where myriad dining options are only steps away (Corner Bistro, Smorgas Chef, Tea & Sympathy, The Spotted Pig, and dell'anima to name but a few. More on those in subsequent posts).

Alright, so on the busy nights (and they're not ALL this busy, by the way), you've waited, and you're told your table is ready. Now what? Well, upon entering, you probably already stubbed your toe on the base of the first table in your path. Excepting the display case of desserts to the right of the doorway, the room is dedicated to tables and seating. Diners sit on wooden chairs, in window sills, and basically in each others' laps. In warmer weather, a string of tables hugs the outer perimeter of the restaurant.

The restaurant's draw is one part food (because yes, the classic French fare - salads, entrees, and pastries included - is prepared well), one part ambiance (because despite the clamor for seats, the atmosphere is pleasantly lively, and the nautical touches lining the walls are charming), and one part BYOB. With no liquor license or corkage fee, every party comes packing with their own. The waitresses deftly remove your plastic bag from the wine store (Manley's Wine & Spirits is located three blocks north on 8th Avenue at Jane Street) and supply the necessary glasses in its place. On one particularly entertaining night, a pair of dudes (and I use the term endearingly for these fratty backward-baseball-cap-wearing types) came equipped not with a bottle of wine but with a case of beer. They plowed through it, stacking the empties on the edge of their table, while they nibbled the quiche du jour, grilled saucisson, salmon with a side of julienned vegetables, and a tarte tatin for dessert. It was incongruous, yet most impressive. Nobody batted an eye.

This restaurant is probably best for small parties - small patient parties with wine and a good attitude. If your children are the screamy, throwy, tantrumy type, it's probably best to leave them home with a babysitter - a patient babysitter with wine and a good attitude.

Tartine - 253 West 11th Street, at the corner of West 4th Street