The Cellar at Beecher's Handmade Cheese

Cheese is delicious. It therefore stands that a place which makes its own delicious cheese is okay in my book. Pair that handmade cheese with a full dinner menu, a lounge atmosphere and booze, and well, that figurative book is a bestseller. [Note to any literary agents, editors, publishers and publicists out there - my sound logic regarding bestsellers indicates you should just go ahead and accept my manuscript when I one day (ahem, first write and then) submit it to you].

The main level of Beecher's Handmade Cheese is a factory/store/cafe like its original location in Seattle's Pike Place Market, but the 21-and-over section downstairs (The Cellar) is where the nighttime action goes down. This fairly industrial space of concrete, brick, stone and exposed pipes manages to feel cozy thanks to its dim lighting, quirky art and mix of furniture. Young professionals mingle at the bar, on leather armchairs, on banquettes upholstered with animal hair and on cushioned benches - the base of which are part of the building's foundation. From these several vantage points, one can see Beecher's Flatiron cheese aging behind a glass wall at the side of the room. One can also see intoxicated women flirting with the bartender, but that's not unique to The Cellar.

The menu unsurprisingly includes cheese and charcuterie plates, but an appetizer of fresh cheese curds and several mac and cheese entrees make the cut as well. One mac and cheese is touted as the "world's best," and when asked who made the claim, the waiter said, "The owner...and Oprah." Well then, it must be true.

If there are any lactose-intolerant readers who made it this far through the post, you'll be happy to know The Cellar offers cheese-free options as well. These include spicy rapini, gazpacho, beef short ribs and pate. Oh, it's just me and 86-year-old French men who like pate? That's cool.

The portion sizes are generous, and prices are moderate, but if you head over during the 5pm-7pm happy hour, a variety of full-size dishes are available at half the cost. There are also deals on wine and cocktails, but I just want to make sure my non-existent elderly French companions know where to score a decent early bird special.

So head over to The Cellar at Beecher's Handmade Cheese with the Brooklynite who only wants to meet near Union Square, with your girls who get a little too loud after several glasses of wine or with your boys who like girls who drink a little too much. Maybe they can score points by dropping that bit of Oprah knowledge. More effectively, they could just buy another round of drinks.

The Cellar at Beecher's Handmade Cheese - 900 Broadway, at East 20th Street

Hudson Clearwater

We all love a little mystery. It's why multiple volumes of Sherlock Holmes stories exist, people have been flocking to the shores of Loch Ness for decades, and Sarah McLachlan spent a good part of the 90s building one for broom skirt-wearing girls with choker necklaces and perfume oil from The Body Shop. However, the greatest mystery of the current New York restaurant scene might involve Hudson Clearwater - namely, where the balls is the door?

The restaurant's address is 447 Hudson Street, but this leads to an abandoned retail space with papered windows and notices from the NYC Building Department. So...not where we're dining? No. Instead, head around the corner to Morton Street, where there's still no indication you are anywhere near your ultimate destination. Do we just walk through this first door then? Of course not. You're going to want to try that next shady-looking one with all the graffiti; it's cut into the random wall seemingly beyond the building you originally intended to enter.

Everyone opens this door slowly, expecting to trespass into a sketchy back alley serving as home to Crackhead Larry, but once through, you'll find yourself in a quaint open courtyard occupied by no such fiend. Traversing this space leads to two outdoor staircases - one leading upwards to a second story and one leading downstairs to a basement level. It all feels very "Choose Your Own Adventure," but you'll want to head upstairs for the main restaurant. The second set of steps leads down to Hudson Clearwater's private dining room, which can accommodate up to twelve guests.

Once upstairs, you'll find yourself inside a dimly lit, wood-adorned room with a chef's counter and a sunken dining area. Girls in their twenties and couples on dates tend to fill the seats at the chef's counter. Much like at dell'anima, this is where all of the cooking action takes place, and if he's not insanely busy, you can chat up the very guy preparing your meal. Some tables are located in this entrance area, but the rest are down a few steps beyond the counter. The bar is situated in this second section too, and patrons may enjoy a full meal here in addition to cocktails.

Alright guys, we made it. We can put our compasses away and relax. It's 'bout time we get to eatin', and lucky for us, they're sending out an amuse bouche already (a breakfast radish and kale salad bite last time I was here, though I expect it changes often). Reading the menu shows the options are limited, but eating said options proves they. are. delicious. holla.

The essentially American selection includes the likes of butter clams with gnocchi, duck leg confit, black sea bass, and cured pork belly. Vegetarians may be satisfied with a hearty and flavorful root vegetable risotto, though salads and side dishes are not to be missed either [insert flirty wave at the potato-cauliflower gratin here]. You'll want to save room for dessert, as the likes of dark chocolate and cherry ganache as well as a bosc pear tarte tatin have been known to grace the menu.

Though the ambiance is refined casual, and the food is upscale, the prices are thankfully moderate. Appetizers can get into the teens, but every entree is under $20. At least that's how the restaurant has been operating thus far, and it would be a damn dirty shame if those responsible for pricing made a liar out of me.

So head to Hudson Clearwater with that friend who doesn't like to leave the West Village, for that blind date your co-worker has been pressuring you to go on, or for Aunt Nellie's birthday with eleven family members curious to check out that private room. Just draw everyone a map before you go and hope for the best.

Hudson Clearwater - 447 Hudson Street (though entrance is on Morton Street between Hudson and Greenwich Streets)

Elias Corner

Remember when I told you about Estiatorio Milos? The upscale Greek seafood restaurant in Manhattan that serves quality fish in a beautiful space at redonk prices? Well, swap "upscale" for "casual," "Manhattan" for "Astoria," "beautiful" for "basic," and "redonk" for "not all that redonk," and now you have Elias Corner. Ta da!

Located at the corner of 31st Street and 24th Avenue, the restaurant's address might sound familiar to anyone who has been to Astoria's Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden across the street - a great spot for entirely different, boozey, sloppy reasons. What makes Elias Corner worth the trip is the fantastic food, sure, but also the experience.

For starters, the restaurant is only open for dinner, and it does not accept reservations. Diners therefore start lining up early (the restaurant opens at 3:30pm on Sunday and 4:00pm Monday through Saturday), and they check out the fresh selections of the day in the glass display case up front. This is a most crucial step, because once seated at the table, there are no menus to peruse. The gruff waitstaff will rattle off options if you're completely clueless, but dishes to know before you go include the green salad (chopped romaine, feta, dill, scallions, and olive oil), Greek salad (large segments of tomato, feta, and cucumber), char grilled octopus, lobster, grilled zucchini, fried potatoes, and fish fish fish from red snapper to sea bass to St Peter's, served simply grilled with olive oil, herbs, and a squeeze of lemon if desired. Wine and beer are available, though hard liquor is not, and it is questionable as to whether or not they even serve dessert, as I have always been too full to care.

Chattering families and small groups treating dinner as the night's main event enjoy their meals either indoors or on the back deck when the weather is warm. An additional side room is also on the premises, but it is often closed and most likely used for private events. The tables in use are therefore turned rather quickly, but this thankfully means your meal is served without delay once you've finally been rewarded a seat for your patience. The energy of the space is frenetic, what with harried waitresses running platters to closely situated tables and the staff's tendency to bang through the door separating the indoor section from the back, but that's all part of the charm. If, however, this reads like a headache to you, it is best you stay home, Sir Grouch of Curmudgeon Estates.

One last noteworthy point: Elias Corner is a cash-only establishment. I know, I know, but are you really surprised? No menus and no credit cards but a lively and delicious meal. Doesn't sound like a bad trade off to me...and everyone else clamoring for a table.

Elias Corner - 24-02 31st Street at the corner of 24th Avenue in Astoria, Queens

Las Ramblas

Just as New York City is itself a relatively small space packed with a staggering amount of activity, so too are some of its great restaurant finds. A handful of these wee joints have been discussed here before (ohwhassup, Against the Grain? Check you out, Prune), and now you can add the tapas spot, Las Ramblas, to the list. Ok, so each part of your body is basically touching someone at every other table in the room, but you will ultimately savor authentic Spanish dishes, grow giddy from a variety of sangrias, and become somewhat mesmerized by the mini water feature streaming down one wall. All in all, not too bad. It's like the tourist who rides the subway for the first time - she finds she is pressed against the man who smells too much of human, but she gets to buy a purse off Canal Street downtown, catch a Broadway matinee in midtown, and cap off the evening with a drink uptown at the Met. If the hassle in either case sounds like too much for the reward, go back to Kansas, Shirleen!

So...Las Ramblas? It is named for the popular pedestrian street in Barcelona, which has more performance artists and less NYU students than the Greenwich Village street on which it is located here in New York. A small faux-street sign displaying the restaurant's name indicates you have arrived at the right spot wedged between noticeably larger venues on the nightlife-laden block. Once inside, the friendly staff will figure out where you too shall be wedged.

The menu boasts such classics as patatas bravas and croquetas de jamon, but the more adventurous eater might be delighted to find chanquetes fritos (fried smelts with a garlic, olive oil, lemon drizzle) or banderillas con chorizo de pato (mini skewers of duck sausage, quail eggs, and pearl onion). Nothing is particularly bizarre, so picky eaters need not fear. The options are enjoyably authentic, and perhaps more importantly, they are prepared well with quality ingredients. For instance, the chicken empanadas are straightforward and satisfying. Additionally, there's not much to a dish of boquerones (white marinated anchovies), but fresh and served over fried leeks, they're fantastic...that is, if you like white marinated anchovies...which I happen to do...though I recognize quite a few of you just dry-heaved a little.

Considering Las Ramblas does not take reservations, your best bet to promptly snag a tall stool at one of the raised tables is to head over for a late lunch, say, when your dad's in the city, and he found a parking spot across the street from the restaurant anyway. Otherwise, swing by for dinner on that "date" with your flirty but slightly crazy coworker who should certainly never ever be your girlfriend ever...probably. Or stop in with Shirleen from Kansas - she had a rough day on the subway and would appreciate a good meal.

Las Ramblas - 170 West 4th Street, between Jones & Cornelia Streets

Frank Restaurant (and Vera Bar)

Like so many worthwhile restaurants in New York, Frank Restaurant draws crowds willing to wait seemingly endless minutes (sometimes 60 whole ones) for a seat and (if all goes according to plan) a meal. As is the case at petite-yet-popular Tartine, Tomoe, Tia Pol, and even restaurants that don't begin with "T," you can sometimes breeze in and get seated right away. It is wise, however, to brace yourself for a wait, as one is never completely out of the question. Hey, when the food is good, the wine is flowing, the price is moderate, and the vibe is congenial, you sometimes put up with the hassle...or you only go for lunch on holiday weekends when most people are out of town. Options!

Frank Restaurant opened in 1998 with 29 seats and soon expanded to include Vera Bar; a space with a custom bar (at which customers may eat as well as drink), additional small tables, and one large table at the back of the room able to accommodate 20 people. The expansion ultimately resulted in one bustling venue comprised of two rooms and a fenced-in portion of sidewalk out front that can be used for dining as well. Vera Bar is where patrons may feel crammed during peak dining hours, as the stools at the bar back up to the nearby 2-tops against the opposite wall of the slim space, and those waiting for seats stand betwixt the twain. The second room of the restaurant is where we find the open kitchen and small tables whose surfaces are wrapped in what seems to be brightly colored and patterned contact paper - you know, the stuff with which you covered your textbooks back in Junior High (but with more pictured fruit).

Both rooms are snug yet cozy with details like chandeliers, exposed brick, tin kettles on shelves, and mason jars topped with small antique lampshades. Most noteworthy, however, are the decoratively framed chalkboards. Here is where you find the specials of the day, and if you are lucky, those specials will include the luxuriously creamy burrata cheese served over ripe tomatoes. Which brings us to the food in general, which is tasty, hearty, and tasty some more. Frank Restaurant serves the kind of Italian food one might expect to be prepared by an Italian grandmother. Since Frank Prisinzano, the owner, uses recipes in the restaurant perfected by his Italian grandmothers, this makes sense. His paternal grandmother, Elvira (mmhmm, Vera for short), is represented on the menu by way of her lasagna and calves liver, while his maternal grandmother, Carmella, is responsible for "Carmella's slow cooked gravy" on the sausage and meatball hero. Their guidance, combined with Frank's culinary education, result in simple dishes made with quality ingredients - throw in a glass of wine, and it's not a bad day.

So the wine? They're not screwing around here. Over 500 bottles of Italian wine are available (as well as one selection from the Napa Valley - but it's from Italian-American Francis Ford Coppola, so it gets a pass). Some are available by the glass, some by the bottle or half-bottle, and some by consumption. Huhwhat? This means that you may drink however much of the bottle as you would like and then pay only for that which you poured. If you drink half a glass, you pay that small fraction of the bottle's price - if you drink three quarters of the bottle, you pay for three quarters of the bottle. The staff is able to make suggestions according to your tastes, and the "Frank's Choices" list steers you toward some of the best values. All in all, there is a good chance you will not be disappointed; though if you are, the menu (at last check, anyway) said something to the effect of the staff being willing to drink that which you won't.

Go to Frank Restaurant (and Vera Bar) when your out-of-town guest asks to eat where the locals eat, when it's cold outside and you think "Uncle Tony's Gnocchi" is just the kind of stick-to-your-ribs dish to warm you up, or when you are on your way home after the late shift at work and need a filling meal at a late hour (the restaurant is open until midnight on Sunday, until 1am Monday through Thursday, and until 2am Friday and Saturday). Be sure to bring cash, as that is the only form of payment accepted, and feel free to make a reservation if you have 8 to 18 people in your party, as one won't be accepted otherwise. If you don't want to wait for a table and don't want to leave your apartment at all, they will bring the goods to your door if you are within their delivery area - let me know if you intend to do that during peak dining hours, and I just might come over to join you.

Frank Restaurant (and Vera Bar) - 88 2nd Avenue, between East 5th & 6th Streets

Zampa

Zampa is a glorified wine bar. Don't get me wrong, wine bars are pretty glorious to begin with - what with their romantic ambiances and airs of refinement even as you get completely schnockered - but Zampa takes the idea a step further by offering a somewhat substantial, Italian-based menu. Here, you can still order enough vino (by the glass, half bottle, or full bottle) to make your date question whether or not you have a drinking problem, but you may save enough face to wrangle a second date by soaking up the booze with a full meal. It will probably be touch and go though until you do.

In addition to mere olives, cheese, and charcuterie plates, Zampa offers several varieties of crostini, panini, antipasti, and...(sadly, not rhyming)...entrees. On a given night, the smaller plates may include fennel and baby arugula salad with orange and parmigiano, roasted shrimp with cannellini, or broccoli rabe. Larger dishes might include oven poached salmon, roasted pork loin, or lasagna bolognese. The crostini are pleasantly heavy on the toppings (such as chicken liver and vin santo, white bean and duck proscuitto, or fresh ricotta with roasted peppers), and the panini are satisfying for their $10 price tag. Desserts are available too, and if the chocolate hazelnut cake is there the night you are, you should just go ahead and order that. Unless you have a nut allergy - in which case, buddy, you should know better.

The wines at Zampa are predominantly Italian, though something unexpected might sneak onto the menu every now and then. You may also order beer or seasonal cocktails - both, if you've had a rough day.

Everything may be enjoyed at the bar, which zig-zags on the left of the room toward the kitchen at the back, or at one of the side-by-side tables, which run the length of the room on the right. The bar is equipped with tall chairs, and table-seating is comprised of one long banquette and many Eames bucket seats - appropriately named on account of their shape and their ability to contain water. I learned this the night a dining companion knocked an entire ice-cold glassful into my lap, and the water effectively pooled beneath me. Yes, inquisitive reader, my jeans were indeed equally effective at sopping it up like a sponge.

Perks of Zampa include takeout, catering, special events (groups of 10 or more require a price-fixed menu, though cocktail event and tasting menus are available for larger parties as well), and (if the website is to be believed, since I haven't personally tried this...YET) Zampa will create a picnic basket for you. Say whuuuuh? I know! It includes six antipasti of your choosing, two beverages, assorted biscotti, the basket, and a blanket. The basket and a blanket? The basket and a blanket. Additionally, you may enjoy prosecco and a crostini while the staff pack it all up.

So head in to Zampa (located about a block from dell'anima) when you and your girls need to gripe about your day over a bottle or three of Verdicchio, when you and your boys want to get the night started before invading the Meatpacking District, or when you're walking by and become intrigued by the segmented pig displayed on the window. My Italian is rusty (read, I've never studied Italian), so "zampa" may or may not mean "animal's foot," and this artwork therefore may or may not make sense. Like your date at the beginning of this post, however, I shall remain noncommittal.

Zampa - 306 West 13th Street, between West 4th Street & 8th Avenue

Don Peppe

I have been going to Don Peppe since before I was born. My parents enjoyed substantial Italian meals there while my sister sat in a high chair, and I was in the womb. We have returned over the years for many huge lobsters, numerous stuffed artichokes, myriad baked little neck clams, and countless pounds of pasta. Decades later, a meal at Don Peppe is still delicious.

Located near Acqueduct Racetrack and the long-term parking of JFK International Airport, Don Peppe is a no frills Italian restaurant in the South Ozone Park section of Queens. A glass door leads to the long, glass-enclosed waiting room facing the street at the front of the building, and a second glass door opens into the one brightly lit dining room. The tables have linens, the floor is carpeted, the metal-backed chairs have plastic-cushioned seats, and the menu is posted on the back wall. The ambiance is not exactly sultry, but you do not go to Don Peppe for romance unless you are having an affair with garlic.

Don Peppe is a family style restaurant in every sense of the term. The portions are enormous and intended to be shared, while most of the tables are filled with laughing, bickering, celebrating, criticizing relatives. Additionally, over the years, fathers and sons have worked side by side in the kitchen as well as within the waitstaff.

So what's drawing the crowds? The food. It is just red sauce, southern Italian fare, but it is good. And by "good" I mean "GOOD." And by "GOOD" I mean "It is so consistently amazing, I want some right now and don't know what to do with myself." What I can do for now is tell you about it and revel in the memories - which is unsurprisingly not as satisfying as going and eating, but I'm tough and will get through this.

There is the string bean salad with tomatoes and red onion, stuffed peppers, and seafood salad comprised of fresh mussels, clams, and scungilli. There's the linguine with white clam sauce loaded with garlic, plump clams, and more garlic. There's fillet of sole oreganata. Chicken scarpariello with sausage, peppers, and onions. Shrimp marinara. Lobster fra diavolo with mussels and clams over pasta. Broccoli rabe. Veal piccata. Beef brasciola. Even the simple capellini with marinara sauce has flavor for days.

The waiters will not rattle off specials, but if you ask what is in that day or peek in the glass case separating the dining room from the kitchen, you may discover some items that are not listed on the menu. If you see baby eggplants stuffed with bread, olives, and tomatoes, order it - they are tangy and tasty. If you hear they have salmon or red snapper in addition to the usual fillet of sole, order it - Don Peppe does fish better than most seafood restaurants. If you are debating between two entrees, order them both - you will want to eat the leftovers for lunch tomorrow.

Beverages include water (bottled or tap), soda (by the glass or pitcher), wine (house red and white are available in unlabeled bottles), and beer. Note, no liquor. Come dessert time, there is cappuccino and espresso to accompany your Italian style cheesecake (ricotta, not cream cheese), tartufo, fruit sorbet, or cannoli. "But I'm stuffed," you protest. No, there's always room for a cannoli.

So here's the scoop - Don Peppe is cash only. They do not accept reservations except for parties of about ten or more, but even then, they will break down the table if you are not on time. They are open every day except Monday for both lunch and dinner, but the earlier you arrive, the better, as tables fill up quickly. You know what else goes quickly? That cheesecake I mentioned, which is not even available every day. As for parking, there is no lot, but street parking is available. Also, though the dress code is casual, hats are not to be worn in the dining room, and this policy is surprisingly enforced.

So round up the troops and show up hungry, as there's much eating to be done. Go with your extended family for your niece's graduation, with those family friends whose lawn you used to run around in your bathing suit, or for your own birthday with forty six of your closest friends. Small parties are easily accommodated, but the more people you have at your table, the more dishes you can justify ordering. Just sayin'.

Don Peppe - 135-58 Lefferts Boulevard, Queens, at the corner of 149th Avenue

Brunch, Part 2 - Wait-Your-Face-Off Edition

Heading into the weekend, it is time for the next installation of noteworthy brunch spots (click here for Part 1). Because some restaurants are wildly popular and therefore draw large crowds willing to stand outside for upwards of an hour, today's theme is the waiting game (bonus points to anyone who busts out those dance moves in line). Some people say good things come to those who wait - others will argue, "I can't stand around in the rain for an eternity watching other people through the window enjoy their meals. I'm cold, hungry, tired, and my feet hurt from these stupid shoes. In the time I stood here starving, I could have made coffee and eggs at home, and it would have cost me less money than the taxi ride down here." Or, you know, less specific rants. For those who are willing to stick it out, here is what you can expect once inside these brunch hot spots.

1) Prune - 54 East 1st Street, between 1st & 2nd Avenues

Prune is a small restaurant with limited seating on the Lower East Side. Tables are crammed next to one another, and it takes careful maneuvering not to knock over your neighbor's water glass as you shimmy through to your seat. Well, "careful maneuvering" or "a smaller ass than mine." The western wall's weathered wood framed mirrors, the small tiles of the floor, and the front windows' capacity to open to the sidewalk create a charming, homey atmosphere in this otherwise bustling restaurant.

However, patrons are not here to admire the long bar leading to the open kitchen or to decide if the hanging light fixtures would look appropriate in their own apartment. They are ready to eat unique dishes and make a selection from the pleasantly varied bloody mary list. Now, there are options on the menu that may be found most anywhere else (I'm looking at you, eggs benedict and huevos rancheros), but Prune is the place to try coddled eggs with chicken, grilled handmade lamb sausage with oysters, or butter-crumbed eggs with spicy stewed chickpeas and flatbread. Oh, you wanted a large dutch style pancake cooked in the oven with blueberries that essentially amounts to your own personal cake? Prune has that too. It is also the restaurant for at least ten different bloody marys incorporating ingredients ranging from fresh fennel to beef bouillon to smoked chipotle peppers to baby white turnips to clam juice to beef jerky (used as a swizzle stick). The bloodies are additionally served with a beer chaser.

According to the restaurant's website, brunch is available both Saturday and Sunday from 10:00am until 3:30pm. Considering reservations are not an option, your best bet to be seated sorta-kinda-almost-reasonably-promptly is to go with only one other person. Tables of three are hard to come by, and any party over four might as well bring snacks for the wait, since you won't be eating inside any time soon.

2) Clinton St. Baking Company - 4 Clinton Street, between Houston & Stanton Streets

The popularity of this once-bakery has led to its expansion into a full on restaurant serving breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. The room has a coffee shop feel given the banquette seating, dessert display, and sundae glasses lining shelves by the coffee pots. Swinging double doors leading to the semi-visible kitchen recall suburban diners, while sections of exposed brick wall are reminders you are in downtown Manhattan.

Brunch menu items include a buttermilk biscuit egg sandwich with tomato jam and cheddar, brioche french toast with caramelized bananas and roasted pecans, and potato pancakes with smoked salmon, lemon creme fraiche, chopped egg, and dill. The real draw, however, is apparently the wild Maine blueberry pancakes (though banana walnut are available too) with warm maple butter. They have been revered across the internet and by my buddies alike, and they were even a subject of one of Bobby Flay's Throwdowns on the Food Network. I would personally rather satisfy a sweet craving with Clinton St. Baking Company's strawberry layer cake or blondie sundae (with salted caramel sauce? oh hellzzz yeah), but to each his own (and other cliches).

According to the restaurant's website, brunch hours are Saturday from 9:00am until 4:00pm and Sunday from 9:00am until 6:00pm. The restaurant will not deliver during this time, but it accommodates take-out orders. As expected, Clinton St. Baking Company does not take reservations for brunch, and expected or not, they only accept credit cards at dinner. Thankfully, if you want to try those pancakes but do not want to pay for them with cash, they are available all day everyday and not solely at brunch.

Grape and Grain/Against the Grain

There is a restaurant in the East Village, which is really a wine bar and a separate annex offering craft beer. What? Well you see, first there is Grape and Grain, a wine bar that serves dinner seven nights a week and brunch on the weekends. Then there is Against the Grain, which is a sliver of a bar next door serving nibbles and brewskies. Yes, you may order wine and beer at both venues, but the more extensive list of vino is available from the former, while the full list of light, white, pale, amber, dark, and darker beers is found at the latter.

Grape and Grain is a small establishment equipped with an L-shaped bar and several sturdy wood tables. Seating is a mix of mismatched stools, wood chairs, benches along the walls, and pillows in the front windowsill. Ornate little chandeliers hang from the pressed tin ceiling, which help to illuminate the votive lit room. The close quarters, dim lighting, and exposed brick walls add up to all shades of snug and cozy. The pan European food, flowing wine, and increasingly loud conversations mean all sorts of satisfaction and happy. The menu here includes appetizers (such as white bean dip with spiced pita chips), cheese, sandwiches (including brie and ham with whole grain mustard and tomato), pizzas (eight different varieties), and dessert.

Against the Grain is situated just on the other side of the building's residential entrance in an even smaller space than that of Grape and Grain. One raised table runs down the center of the narrow room toward the minuscule bar at the rear. Wooden stools abound, as do hooks on which patrons may hang their belongings. Exposed bulbs and votive candles provide the room's light, while a ledge runs along the left exposed brick wall that is adorned with rotating collections of art. According to the restaurant's website, Against the Grain is ideal for groups of twelve to thirty people, though smaller parties should have just as much fun. The menu here includes charcuterie plates, beer steamed cockles, and beer sausages as well as limited options from next door (why yes, I would like a meatball pizza with caramelized onions, thank you very much). The waitstaff hustles between the two venues delivering food and clearing plates, so at times, the wait is long, and the service is harried. That's ok, though - you have your drink and your date to amuse you in the meantime.

So head over to Grape and Grain with that small group who is conspiring to set that one friend up with that other friend. Down the line, you can all celebrate their engagement by reserving the main table at Against the Grain.

Grape and Grain - 620 East 6th Street, between Avenues B & C
Against the Grain - next door

Tia Pol

Allow me to take you on a guided tour of Tia Pol, an authentic tapas restaurant worth the hike this far west in Chelsea. I'll ask that you please proceed single-file and keep large purses tucked by your sides, as we will be navigating through narrow quarters. In the off-chance you disturb a patron, he may growl but would be unlikely to strike. If, however, you obstruct his path to the pinchos morunos (juicy, tasty lamb skewers), we here at Fresh Pepper will not be held responsible for the carnage.

Right then. On your left you'll find the wood and marble bar. Here, you may order beer on tap, wine from the all-Spanish list, or an entire meal comprised of small plates (sandwiches are available at lunch, and egg dishes make the menu at brunch - more on the food when we reach the back room. Please hold your questions until then). Perch on one of the mismatched stools, and be sure to check out the daily specials scrawled on the chalkboard. You may enjoy a welcomed breeze in warm weather, as the entire glass front of the establishment can be opened to the sidewalk. In colder weather, people waiting for seats will cram in this area behind you along the brick wall and will mentally will you to eat faster.

As we come to the end of the bar, you will take note of the raised tables to the left. You sit on the high bench along the wall or on one of the backless stools while enjoying your meal in this area. That banging you hear is the bartender brewing fresh espresso. You will either get used to it, drown it out with your own chatter, or know to ask for another table next time.

Alright folks, a few more steps further into the restaurant brings us to...(drumroll for no reason)...this section. Here we find more small tables and stools to the right, perfect for serious heart-to-heart conversations as you dine face-to-face with your mother, brother, lover, significant other, or, you know, buddy. To the left is the kitchen. Peer through the opening in the wall to catch a glimpse of hard-workers working hard.

Anyone who needs the restroom will take this opportunity to go now. It is through this door on the left, and you will find it to be surprisingly spacious and delightfully clean. Everyone else will kindly direct their attention to the alcove where larger parties can be accommodated more comfortably than at the options up front.

Now, if we are all ready, please follow me into the back room, and be sure to mind the step. Here, there is plenty of seating for everyone at the several long tables, which are sometimes used communally for multiple parties when the restaurant is at its busiest. Settle in on the chairs with backs, because I am about to let you in on a little secret (which actually isn't a secret at all, but sometimes I like to be dramatic for no reason, as you may have noticed from that earlier drumroll): The food at Tia Pol is great.

Sometimes the food at tapas restaurants has a commercial feel to it. They offer croquetas which may or may not have come from a box, patatas bravas, a tortilla with egg, potato, and onion, and then there is usually a bowl of mixed olives and/or almonds. Now, that is all well and good (and offered at Tia Pol too), but thankfully Tia Pol realizes there is more to Spanish cuisine than that. Here you will find sweet peppers filled with potato salad and topped with imported white tuna (piquillos rellenos de ensaladilla rusa), a fava bean puree with beyos cheese on toasted bread (montadito de crema de habitas con beyos), razor clams and cockles (navajas y almejas), chorizo finished with sherry (chorizo al jerez), and unexpectedly addictive fried chickpeas (garbanzos fritos). Soups, salads, cheese plates, and cured meats make the menu too, as does a selection of desserts that cover more ground than just the expected flan. It is also wise to pay attention to the daily specials, as this is where you may find gems like flash fried peppers with sea salt and indulgent bone marrow toast.

Lunch is when the menu is more limited but includes sandwiches of crispy squid, serrano ham, pork loin, and chorizo with chocolate. Yep, chocolate. Lunch is available Tuesday through Friday from noon until 3:00pm. The weekends are the time for brunch (11:00am until 3:00pm) when chocolate couples with churros, serrano ham pairs with watercress and a poached egg, and a croissant is warmed a la plancha and served with orange marmalade and sweet cadi butter. Is it wrong that I could maybe eat that butter straight with a spoon? Probably. Not to worry, new friends, I won't. Probably.

Now that we have reached the awkward butter-confession portion of the tour, it is time for us to part ways. Be sure to make a reservation for your next meal at Tia Pol, as you have surely observed seats are fairly limited and customers are not. Come back with that scruffy professional before catching a show at the nearby UCB Theater, on date night with your girlfriend of four years, or by yourself when you are craving juicy, tasty lamb skewers so badly, you could physically harm anyone who obstructs your path to them.

Tia Pol - 205 10th Avenue, between West 22nd & West 23rd Streets

Lupa

Lupa is a Mario Batali restaurant. You know Mario from his television appearances, his cookbooks, his kitchen products, and maybe even from a mention on your favorite blog (ahem). You may have been to his wine store, you may have seen him and his ever-present orange footwear at Chelsea Market, you may have even been to one (or six) of his restaurants. You might therefore also know that Mr. Batali often partners in his endeavors with Joseph Bastianich, and there is no exception in the case of Lupa. Mr. Bastianich has had a hand in Batali's seafood restaurant, Esca, in his 3-star triumph, Babbo, and in several other projects throughout New York, Las Vegas, and California. Also partnering at Lupa are Jason Denton (of 'ino, 'inoteca, and Batali/Bastianich's Otto) and Chef Mark Ladner (sous-chef at Babbo's opening and yet another Otto contributor). All of which is to say, Lupa's owners know a thing or two about Italian restaurants, and thankfully, at Lupa, it shows.

For starters, the food is prepared well. Sadly, the same can not be said for every Italian restaurant throughout Manhattan. Basics like pasta are often overcooked, drenched in sauce, or they arrive cold at the table. Mercifully, Lupa's pasta dishes are al dente, flavorful without being overworked, and hot. The style of the food is Roman, as the restaurant's full name is Lupa Osteria Romana. According to the restaurant's website (and Italian speakers the world over), "Osteria Romana" means "Roman Tavern," and "Lupa" means "She-Wolf." Parenthetically, you have no idea how badly I want to crack a Shakira joke.

The menu is divided into categories: verdura, carne, insalata, pesce, primi, secondi, and piatto del giorno (aka, vegetables, meat, salad, fish, first courses, entrees, and daily specials). A good portion of the menu is written in Italian, but a glossary on the back will help in the deciphering process as will the waitstaff, who are typically friendly and engaging. The food may be shared family style, or you may opt to hoard a selection from one of the above mentioned categories for yourself - hey, if you can annihilate an order of house made coppa cotta by your lonesome, who am I to say otherwise?

The restaurant is divided into two rooms, both of which are casual yet polished. The front room is packed with wood chairs at dark wood tables, approximately 9 stools at the bar to the left, and a large wine hutch anchoring the right wall at the rear of the space. The floors are ceramic, the walls are a rusty orange color, and the noise level is lively. Pretty much exactly what one might expect of an Italian trattoria. Arched doorways lead to the smaller back room in which the tables have cloths, cushioned banquettes line the wall, and a chandelier coupled with wall sconces provide the light. This back room may seem more serene than the front at first glance, but the noise level and energy in the space depends largely on the patrons at any given time.

So let's talk particulars. Reservations are highly recommended for dinner, though you may have some luck strolling in without one for lunch. The food is moderately priced considering the quality, but there are ways to pay less than what you might otherwise expect. Lupa offers "Roma Mezzanotte," which is a late night price-fixed menu for $26* per person. It is available Sunday through Thursday from 10:00pm until midnight, and it includes three courses (antipasta, pasta, and dessert) plus a glass of wine. The regular menu is also available during this time.

Lupa also hosts events from time to time which showcase a particular seasonal ingredient, method of cooking, holiday tradition, or region of wine (Bastianich is an owner of several wineries; one of which includes Batali as a partner. Not surprisingly, Lupa's wine list is extensive.) A good way to learn about upcoming events is to visit the restaurant's website and/or join their mailing list. Additionally, you may host your own private event, as Lupa is equipped to accommodate up to 80 guests (up to 30 guests at dinner or the entire restaurant at lunch). It should be noted that any party larger than 6 at lunch or dinner is required to partake in a price-fixed menu option rather than dining a la carte.

So next time you are hungry like the wolf, grab your favorite she-wolf and head over to Lupa for an evening in Roma without ever leaving New York, New York. (I couldn't resist.)

Lupa - 170 Thompson Street, between between Bleecker & Houston Streets

UPDATE - The price has increased. I repeat. The price has increased. Lupa's Roma Mezzanotte will set you back a cool $3 more than before at $29 per person. We can storm the streets in protest, OR...pay it. Yeah, just pay it. Occupy Lupa sounds like too much of a headache to organize.

Mizu

So he says to me, he says, "Hey! Fresh Pepper!" Though you know it sounded like "Peppah."
And I'm like, "Word?"
He goes, "I'm ten blocks south of Mishima, and I ain't tryin' to walk for no sushi."
So I'm like, "Oh yeah?"
And he's all, "Yeah! What you got?" But it comes out like, "Challenge!"
With my brightest Colgate smile, I go, "Mizu, homes!"

I hope you enjoyed my entirely fictional and unnecessarily affected dramatic sketch. The moral of the story is: there is a Japanese restaurant in Gramercy called Mizu, which is worth checking out if you are in the neighborhood. The food is fresh, the service is prompt, and the atmosphere is a touch trendier than the previously discussed Tomoe and Mishima.

Whereas the other two restaurants are sparse in their decor, Mizu's design elements include exposed brick (along one wall), slate tiles (along another wall), and illuminated rice paper (throughout the room and most noticeably in a palm frond formation on the ceiling). Even the wood-framed glass door and floor-to-ceiling front windows are ornate in that each panel is comprised of multiple glass panes in varying geometric shapes. However, plastic tabletops, plastic-cushioned metal chairs, and exposed air conditioning units render the overall feel of Mizu casual. The loud crowds and music are contributing factors as well.

So how does Mizu measure up against my sushi restaurant test? The california roll was $6.50 at last check, which indicates prices are not particularly low. Regular rolls range from $4.00 (cucumber roll) to $8.00 (tuna/avacado/caviar roll) with an average of $6.00. Special rolls range from $6.50 to $15.00 with an average of $11.00. This is by no means outrageous, but it is not a bargain either. As for my spicy scallop roll, they have one, it is tasty, and it costs $9.00.

I recommend Mizu for one of those fun Thursday nights that feels like a Saturday after several after-work flutes of champagne at the aptly-named Flute across the street, for a double date with that couple who both wear fedoras on a regular basis, or for lunch with your nephew - he's already in the neighborhood and unwilling to walk the ten blocks to Mishima anyway.

Mizu - 29 East 20th Street, between Broadway & Park Avenue South

Mishima

I have three basic tests for sushi restaurants:

1. Is the california roll more than $5.00?
2. Is raw scallop on the menu?
3. Would I eat said scallop here?

Here is the reasoning:

1. Although I do not often order california rolls, they are a solid standard by which to measure overall price reasonableness of a restaurant. If a fluff item of vegetables and imitation crab costs more than $5.00, the legitimate fish will probably hit the wallet harder than necessary.
2. Scallops are not offered everywhere, and they do not need to be. However, when I am looking for something more than a spicy tuna roll, it is lovely to know the establishment provides interesting options. "Interesting" is subjective, and I would agree there are more off-the-beaten-path choices than this particular one; however, this is a basic test, and something as extreme as poisonous blowfish is not required to pique my interest. Also, I think scallops are tasty, so lay off me, bub.
   
3. The availability of raw shellfish does not automatically mean I will eat it. The combination of the restaurant's cleanliness and reputation for quality goes quite far in this regard.

How Mishima measures up:

1. The california roll was $5.00 at last check. I would forgive an increase to $5.50 considering how well the staff has treated me in years past (a free dish of edamame here, rushed delivery there), but I am not trying to give the management any silly ideas.
   
2. Scallops? Got 'em! Other menu items include both lobster miso soup and clam miso soup in addition to the standard tofu miso soup. Appetizers cover basics like shumai, gyoza, and negimaki while also including nasu-shigiyaki (eggplant with miso paste and ground chicken) and goma ae (spinach with sesame sauce). As for entrees, yes, there's sushi and udon noodles, teriyaki and tempura, but there's also una don (boiled eel on rice) and, at times, hamachi kama (which is Japanese for "yellowtail collar" and probably also for "crazy delicious").
3. Not only do I feel comfortable eating the scallops here, I am compelled to order at least one spicy scallop roll upon every visit. This may have something to do with the spicy mayo sauce, which is preferable in my opinion to the chili flakes/paste/oil used elsewhere, and which is all shades of yum. Now, I am not going to say Mishima is the absolute best Japanese restaurant in Murray Hill, but I am going to note several others have come and gone from this neighborhood over the years while Mishima has remained a constant. Take from that information what you will.

Mishima is noticeable on Lexington Avenue thanks to its three black awnings with simple white lettering. One spans the ground floor picture window and door, while the other two are anchored above the restaurant's second story windows. After stepping down from the sidewalk to the entrance, you have the option of sitting in the narrow downstairs area at one of the tables along the mirrored wall or at the sushi bar. Otherwise, you may choose to sit at the second sushi bar upstairs or at one of the tables in this brighter, larger space. The food and sake taste the same in either location, so don't agonize over the decision. Chances are you will be seated wherever there is room, as the restaurant is typically busy during peak lunch and dinner hours.

So go with that Long Islander who drove in via the Midtown Tunnel and doesn't want to sit in any more traffic, that coworker who spills the best gossip about your other coworkers, or that recent graduate who is living out College 2.0 in one of those Murray Hill "dorms." Run it by your own checklist, and let me know what you think.

Mishima - 164 Lexington Avenue, between East 30th & East 31st Streets

Banjara

WAH WAHHHH - Banjara is permanently closed. In a casual atmosphere somewhat evocative of someone's home (what with the carpeted floor and couch-like benches), you can enjoy creamy saag paneer , crispy samosas , spicy bhundi karrara , puffed naan , and moist dumpakht . I apologize to those who just gagged at the word "moist." Twice. Banjara accepts reservations, but walk-ins are welcome as well. In the rare instances when a table is not available, you may wait at the bar in the smaller dining area to the left of the main room. Unfortunately, this tiny space is as comfortable as waiting in a phone booth. With three other people. Who are all inexplicably wearing innertubes around their waists. Between the tables steps away and the waiters running drinks, you are always in someone's way. Once seated at your table, however, you can spread out and relax as you read over the extensive menu and snack on the cracker-like flatbread with three accompanying dips of varying spice levels. At the end of the meal, you may linger over the complimentary ice cream/sorbet. Banjara - 97 1st Avenue, at the corner of East 6th Street

Alta

To call Alta a tapas restaurant is somewhat of a misnomer. The food portions are small, but the selection is not Spanish. However, if someone were to ask what type of restaurant it is, "tapas" would be a more succinct answer than "an establishment offering small plates of Mediterranean dishes, which are unconventional in their composition, yet which encompass a flavor profile particular to that part of the world." Not only is the truth unwieldy, it sounds obnoxious.

Even the decor is and is not Spanish. Whereas the color scheme (saffron yellow and terracotta red) screams Espana, the stone fireplace in the main dining room and solid wood beams bordering the mezzanine whisper Swiss ski chalet. Wait. Mezzanine? Say what? Ok, let's back up.

Alta is located in a townhouse in the West Village. The entrance is steps down from the sidewalk, making wheelchair access a tricky business. Just inside, extending quite a ways back to the host/hostess station, is the wood bar lined with many leather-cushioned stools. Beyond this is the beginnings of the main dining room, the rest of which is up three stairs illuminated by lanterns resting on each. Up many more stairs to the left is that mezzanine. It is U-shaped, shares the same floor as the kitchen, and overlooks both the dining area on the main level and the metal chandelier hanging from a chain from the ceiling. Rumor has it a private table is accessible via the kitchen. In all my visits, however, I have never been seated here. Word on the street (or more accurately, Alta's website) is that private parties may be held in two adjoining rooms overlooking West 10th Street. These rooms are a mystery to me as well. I trust they are as warmly lit as the rest of the restaurant and outfitted with the same sturdy wood tables.

So the menu. It is extensive. It waivers between ordinary (marcona almonds) and unexpectedly delicious (brussel sprouts with apple, creme fraiche, and pistachio pesto). Whereas tuna tartare is available at plenty of restaurants (ordinary), Alta's incorporates hearts of palm and macadamia nuts (unexpectedly delicious). Many of the dishes contain Mediterranean elements (lamb meatballs) without being traditional (said meatballs are paired with a butternut squash foam). With approximately forty five dishes covering poultry, four-legged beasts, seafood, vegetables, pasta, cheese, and grains, there should be something for everyone. For $420, your table can even order "the whole shebang," which, as you may have guessed, clever reader, is the entire menu. This bold move is for the truly indecisive and exceptionally hungry.

My recommendations for Alta include:

1. Making reservations - It is a busy place, and you'll want to guarantee a table.
2. Bringing cash or American Express - That is all they accept.
3. Ordering the Philadelphia Truffle Surprise - It sounds like an unappetizing concoction involving phyllo dough, cream cheese, and truffle oil, but it has been a crowd pleaser every time.

So go with that guy who doesn't like to venture above 14th Street, that girl who tends to graze off your plate anyway, or that one friend who keeps saying, "We should dress up next time we go out!" Jeans certainly fly at Alta, as the dress code is casual, but that buddy shouldn't feel out of place by sprucing it up a bit either - just like at any other establishment offering small plates of Mediterranean dishes, which are unconventional in their composition, yet which encompass a flavor profile particular to that part of the world.

Alta - 64 West 10th Street, between 5th and 6th Avenues

Tea & Sympathy

English food tends to get a bum rap. Maybe it's because the names of some dishes are straight up unappetizing - spotted dick? toad-in-the-hole? blood pudding? Maybe it's because people envision endless meat stews and meat pies and yep, meat puddings. I don't want to venture additional guesses, since I don't know everyone's reasoning and don't want to offend my future British husband - who I have not yet met, but who I expect to be adorable. My imaginary husband and our imaginary children (who say things like "mum" and "loo" - so precious) can take heart in the fact that when I say I love Tea & Sympathy and its English food, I am not lying.

For starters, Tea & Sympathy is a super cute, super quaint, and SUPER small restaurant on Greenwich Avenue. With only ten tables crammed one next to the other, it can't help but have a cozy feel. Floral tablecloths, faux bookcases, and shelves lined with teapots and mismatched cups add to the charm - as do the framed drawings and photos of the royal family and other British icons. It doesn't hurt that the waitresses have fantastic English accents and sunny dispositions.

As for the food, the menu covers a lot of ground. There are traditional dishes like shepherd's pie, bangers & mash, and Yorkshire pudding. However, the options include more than what you might find at most British pubs around the city - there's the scotch egg (a hard boiled egg wrapped in cumberland sausage), tweed kettle pie (salmon & cod in a parsley sauce, topped with mashed potatoes), and coronation chicken (chicken salad with curry) among other dishes. There are also various salads, soups, sandwiches, and scones.

Speaking of those last two, Tea & Sympathy offers "Afternoon Tea," which is available for both lunch and dinner. It arrives on a three-tiered serving tray and includes a selection of finger sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and jam, and an assortment of desserts. It is accompanied by a pot of tea, of course, in whatever flavor you choose. Tea & Sympathy also serves a full English breakfast on the weekends and a Sunday roast on (logically) Sundays.

Ready for the bonus? The store (Carry On Tea & Sympathy) directly adjacent to the restaurant sells all things British. Did you want a certain European candy you can't seem to find anywhere else? (Lion bars are my weakness). Are you looking for an ornate teapot to call your very own? (Mine has a map of the world on it). Do you have an obsession with the Union Jack and think those cufflinks would be the perfect addition to your collection? (Um, that's all you). In addition to the goodies, you can even place a take-out order of food from the boys at the store and chat for a bit while you wait. If one winks and calls you "darling," so be it.

Bonus Part 2 - On the other side of the store is a fish and chips eatery under the same ownership as Tea & Sympathy. It is wittily named A Salt & Battery, and it's worth a visit for all things fried. More on that in a subsequent post.

I recommend Tea & Sympathy to anyone looking for an authentic bit of England. It's best to go in small groups, as the tiny establishment isn't set up to accommodate large parties. Also, they don't take reservations, and your party will not be seated until all have arrived. There is a wooden bench outside on which you may sit while you wait, or you can pop over to the store if it's too cold to linger outside. So take your date who fancies himself an anglophile, your cousin who just spent a semester in London, or your mum. If any of them know my future husband, have them tell him I say hi.

Tea & Sympathy - 108 Greenwich Avenue, between West 13th & Jane Streets

Sala One Nine

Whenever I say I'm going to a tapas restaurant, people ask, "Topless?!" Either I don't enunciate, or I know a lot of pervy morons. Whatever the case may be, the subject of this post is a perfectly lovely Spanish restaurant, where all guests and staff are fully clothed.

Sala One Nine is logically situated on West 19th Street. West One Nine Street. Yeah, it took me entirely too long to piece that together. There is another Sala located in NoHo on Bowery, and it is sometimes cleverly referred to as Sala Bowery. Though the two locations exhibit similarities, today's focus is on the Flatiron location.

I have been to Sala One Nine countless times, and the food has always been consistent. The menu includes sopas, ensalada, tostas, raciones, plancha, and horno. In other words: soups, salads, toasted bread with various toppings, small plates, larger grilled items, and equally large oven baked dishes. Basically everything is intended to be shared, so the size of your party should determine how many plates you order. Or, you can do what my friends and I do, which is order entirely too much food, because we can't resist certain dishes (hello, fried goat cheese with honey and caramelized onions [insert wink here]). The prices are reasonable, but it is possible to both rack up a sizable bill (see, night out with my girls) or get out unscathed (see, "Paella Sunday's," 2-for-1 happy hour, and any night without all my girls).

The atmosphere in the restaurant is lively, which is why it's tempting to round up the whole crew for an evening out. With two bars in the room (one up front, and one in the middle) and upbeat music playing overhead, the buzz is constant and, at times, outright loud. The lights are dim without being dark, and the rustic look (pockets of exposed brick peeking from behind painted plaster, arches framing the kitchen at the back as well as the stairwell down to the bathrooms, and dark wood tables and chairs) gives the impression of late night dining in Spain. It is also a great spot for a date, as banquets in the back allow for cozying up in the corners as well as face-to-face quality time across small candlelit tables.

I would recommend Sala One Nine to anyone looking for a fun night out with good food (multiple dishes feature serrano ham, yet vegetarian options are plentiful as well) and a substantial wine list (sangria too, of course). Before stopping in, however, it is best to make a reservation, as the restaurant's popularity does not appear to be waning. If you can't get a table until late, try to snag a spot at one of the bars, or pop next door to the Flatiron Lounge for a finely crafted cocktail while you wait. You don't have to be buzzed to enjoy the food at Sala One Nine, but it usually doesn't hurt.

Sala One Nine - 35 West 19th Street, between 5th & 6th Avenues

The Spotted Pig

There's a lot of hype around The Spotted Pig thanks to its chef (April Bloomfield), owners (Ken Friedman and Ms. Bloomfield), investors (Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich were early ones), and accolades (one star from The New York Times in 2006 and a seemingly brighter star from Michelin in 2005, the first year the European guide rated restaurants in New York). These names, individually and at times in partnership with one another, are responsible for The Breslin Bar and Dining Room (currently in the Ace Hotel), The Rusty Knot (a bar proximate to The Spotted Pig and adjacent to the Hudson River), John Dory (now closed), Otto, Babbo, Lupa, Casa Mono, Del Posto, and Becco - to name but a few of many. The Spotted Pig even made an appearance on NBC's "The Office" when Jim and Karen went to Manhattan for interviews before returning to Scranton for a little more Jim/Pam will-they-won't-they (spoiler alert: they will). However, these are not the reasons I go to The Spotted Pig. I buy into the hype on account of the food.

The menu is organized into Bar Snacks, Plates, Entrees, and Sides. Some of the Bar Snacks are large enough to qualify as appetizers (hi, chicken liver toast. I love you), some of the Plates are large enough to qualify as main courses (I see you, gnudi, with your ricotta dumpling tastiness and brown butter/sage sauce), and some of the Sides can be cobbled together for a hearty vegetarian meal (roasted onions and spiced lentils? Come a little closer). The food is basically English fare with Italian flare.

You'll find deviled eggs, mixed olives, and roll mops (pickled herring with onions and creme fraiche) in the Bar Snacks. Plates include smoked haddock chowder with homemade crackers, fried duck egg with ramps, and a prosciutto/ricotta tart with marjoram. As for Entrees, there's the grilled beef tongue with duck fat potatoes and pickled beets (potentially for the more adventurous eater) and the burger (for everyone else). It's a thick, chargrilled patty with roquefort cheese on a chargrilled bun. It comes with a side of garlic/rosemary shoestring fries, which are insanely addictive, even after you've promised yourself, "Ok, this is my LAST one."

So what I'm saying is, the food's good. So is the booze selection, as this is a pub after all. There are the usual liquor options, an extensive wine list, some unusual beers, and a couple cask ales. These may be enjoyed at your table or at the two bars - one on the main level and one upstairs. Food may also be enjoyed at the bars or by columns when tables are full.

Speaking of those tables, like at other wildly popular Manhattan restaurants that don't take reservations, they're hard to snag during peak hours. If you don't get there early (dinner starts at 5:30pm) or mind stopping in late (the kitchen closes at 2:00am seven nights a week), you can wait at either bar in the meantime, or you may leave your name and number with the host who will call when a table is available. So says their website, at least. I've never attempted that last bit - opting instead to sip a brewsky and stare longingly at occupied seats.

Speaking of those seats, some are merely cushioned windowsills, some are banquettes, and many are low, backless stools. Diners here come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, but I gotta say, those stools don't seem appropriate for everyone. Of course, by "everyone," I basically mean "my mom." I don't know for sure, but I get the feeling most middle-aged people with back problems wouldn't arm-wrestle each other over the privilege to perch on one of these. I do know for sure the idea of my mom arm-wrestling anyone is hilarious. Disclaimer: the restaurant does not encourage arm-wrestling at all, as far as I know.

The proximity of diners is also noteworthy. When the room is full and the bars are packed, patrons are in close quarters. The noise level increases with the crowd, and one becomes privy to unexpected conversations. I now know about the active sex life of a 34 year old hipster and the bowel habits of an overweight divorcee. I suspect he was lying - I fear she was not.

Somehow, the waitstaff handle the chaos in stride. Sure, there are times when you may have to grab someone's attention as he/she bobs and weaves through the tightly pressed crowd, but you ultimately get the sense everything's under control. The specials are announced calmly with notes as to which are personal favorites, the drinks are delivered promptly, and plates are brought and removed efficiently. Even with the crowd looming inches away, you're offered a dessert menu as if to say, "Enjoy your meal to the fullest, pal. We won't turn the table until you're ready, friend."

While we're on desserts, I'm going to take this moment to make a plea. The banoffee. I need it back in my life. It's a slice of banana/toffee/chocolate/fresh cream fantastic, and I'm sad it has been off the menu for quite some time. I've resorted to making it at home. Pig, I'd rather you just do it for me. There, I said it.

Between the atmosphere (unsurprisingly, pig paraphernalia abounds - there's even a hanging model outside in lieu of a sign), the crowd, and the food, it all adds up to an interesting night out. Take your old college buddy. Take your husband. Take your mom - just sit on the stool yourself.

The Spotted Pig - 314 West 11th Street, at the corner of Greenwich Street

Tomoe

I think there are two main reasons people line up outside and wait for seats at Tomoe:

1. The interior is crazy small.
2. The food is crazy good.

What is not crazy, however, is you for wanting to get in. Well, ok, if you're standing in the rain with the flu and you'd just like a bowl of miso soup, you're crazy for waiting. If you're craving hot dogs and french fries, which they don't serve at this Japanese restaurant, you're crazy for waiting. If you're the guy on the subway who set empty toothpaste boxes on the seat next to me, scratched your head, and then smacked me on the arm, you're just straight up crazy. Thanks for reading my blog, though!

Like at Tartine, there isn't always a mob of patrons clamoring for seats, but trusting reader, it is only fair that I warn you it can happen, has happened, and will happen again.

So what's the fuss? The sushi is damn good. The selection is fresh as fresh can be, and they have options not typically found at most Japanese restaurants. For example, whereas eel is a common sushi restaurant find, both sea and fresh water options are not. Whereas most offer yellowtail, Tomoe additionally offers belly and baby yellowtail. To be fair, not every item listed on the menu is always available. To that, I say, "Whoop Whoop," because if it's not fresh at the market that day, they're not serving it, and I'm not eating it. Upset stomach and parasites avoided!

In addition to the freshness and variety, the sushi is noteworthy for its size. The rolls, like at most establishments, vary in girth depending on the contents. The pieces, however, are where it's at. Rather than the fish sitting on the small bed of rice, it drapes across and beyond it. Ok, so the prices aren't cheap, but at least you're getting some bang for your buck. and by "bang" I mean "fish." and by "buck" I mean "$4.75 per piece on average." You are also getting a complimentary dish of marinated bean sprouts at the start of your meal, which seems random and boring until you realize you can't stop eating it.

As for the decor, there's not much to it - just wooden tables crammed next to one another and a rather small sushi bar along the back of the room able to accommodate about five to seven diners. The walls are mostly adorned with pictures of sushi, and last time I was there, several signs were on display indicating Tomoe only accepts cash or American Express. If you plan to use amex, it is worth noting the $15 lunch and $20 dinner minimums.

So if you've walked around Greenwich Village for hours and want to cap off the day with a solid Japanese meal, Tomoe could be the spot for you. If you're an NYU student tired of spending your dining dollars at the same places, Tomoe could be the spot for you. If you're planning to propose to your girlfriend who is allergic to seafood, Tomoe is probably not the best bet for you. Maybe try Il Mulino up the block and around the corner on West 3rd.

Tomoe - 172 Thompson Street, between Bleecker & Houston Streets

Tartine

I need to have patience when I go to the wee French restaurant Tartine. This West Village hot spot doesn't take reservations (or credit cards, FYI), so it operates on a first-come-first-served basis. On nights when people come out in droves, it may be quite some time until you are seated, let alone served.

There is no room inside the restaurant for patrons to wait for a table. They are therefore relegated to the sidewalk where the line extends down West 11th Street and often wraps around to West 4th. On my patient nights, part of the Tartine fun is in the waiting. You make friends with others standing on line, you decide whether or not you'll order what those dining outside are eating, and you catch up with your friend, because hey, that's why you guys came out tonight anyway, right?

On other nights, I'm cranky. No promise of reasonably priced delectable French food nor memories of past positive experiences here is enough to keep me waiting for upwards of half an hour. On those nights, I'm grateful I live in Manhattan where myriad dining options are only steps away (Corner Bistro, Smorgas Chef, Tea & Sympathy, The Spotted Pig, and dell'anima to name but a few. More on those in subsequent posts).

Alright, so on the busy nights (and they're not ALL this busy, by the way), you've waited, and you're told your table is ready. Now what? Well, upon entering, you probably already stubbed your toe on the base of the first table in your path. Excepting the display case of desserts to the right of the doorway, the room is dedicated to tables and seating. Diners sit on wooden chairs, in window sills, and basically in each others' laps. In warmer weather, a string of tables hugs the outer perimeter of the restaurant.

The restaurant's draw is one part food (because yes, the classic French fare - salads, entrees, and pastries included - is prepared well), one part ambiance (because despite the clamor for seats, the atmosphere is pleasantly lively, and the nautical touches lining the walls are charming), and one part BYOB. With no liquor license or corkage fee, every party comes packing with their own. The waitresses deftly remove your plastic bag from the wine store (Manley's Wine & Spirits is located three blocks north on 8th Avenue at Jane Street) and supply the necessary glasses in its place. On one particularly entertaining night, a pair of dudes (and I use the term endearingly for these fratty backward-baseball-cap-wearing types) came equipped not with a bottle of wine but with a case of beer. They plowed through it, stacking the empties on the edge of their table, while they nibbled the quiche du jour, grilled saucisson, salmon with a side of julienned vegetables, and a tarte tatin for dessert. It was incongruous, yet most impressive. Nobody batted an eye.

This restaurant is probably best for small parties - small patient parties with wine and a good attitude. If your children are the screamy, throwy, tantrumy type, it's probably best to leave them home with a babysitter - a patient babysitter with wine and a good attitude.

Tartine - 253 West 11th Street, at the corner of West 4th Street