Eisenberg's Sandwich Shop

If you heart New York, I've got a restaurant for you. It's not fancy, trendy, or swank, but it has that classic New York swagger only a joint that has been around since the Great Depression can pull off. In fact, its menu (and t-shirts) claim it has been "Raising New York's Cholesterol Since 1929." The place is Eisenberg's Sandwich Shop, and it is a diner in the Flatiron District with a chalkboard out front that reads, "You either get it, or you don't." Ain't it the troof.

A long, slim space, Eisenberg's is dominated by the counter before opening into a small dining area at the back. Two-tops line the wall opposite the counter, and patrons must be careful not to brush a diner's egg cream onto the floor as they make their way to their own table. The counter stools of course face the open grills, so if you order "The Eisen-Burger," you may watch the half-pound of freshly ground sirloin cook to perfection right before thine eyes.

Sandwiches are unsurprisingly available at the aptly named sandwich shop, and they include all the classics from peanut butter and jelly to liverwurst to a corned beef or pastrami Reuben. Soup, omelets, and platters are options as well and span Manhattan clam chowder (Friday only) to cold borscht, "The LEO" (lox, eggs, and onions) to "The Shmoopie" (egg whites, tomato, onion, and cream cheese), and chicken salad to hot brisket with gravy, mashed potatoes, and vegetables. There really aren't many shockers at this old school establishment, unless the idea of pairing tuna fish with egg salad blows your mind - and if that's the case, honeyboodle, it's time to set down the saltines and live a little.

Go to Eisenberg's Sandwich Shop with that friend who works across the street at the Flatiron Building, your neighbor who once mentioned liking fried salami, or your Nana who grew up in Brooklyn and remembers when this $2.50 knish used to cost five cents. She'll wear a fur turban throughout the meal, and you'll squabble over who gets to pay the bill - it'll be fun!

Eisenberg's Sandwich Shop - 174 Fifth Avenue, between West 22nd & 23rd Streets

Elias Corner

Remember when I told you about Estiatorio Milos? The upscale Greek seafood restaurant in Manhattan that serves quality fish in a beautiful space at redonk prices? Well, swap "upscale" for "casual," "Manhattan" for "Astoria," "beautiful" for "basic," and "redonk" for "not all that redonk," and now you have Elias Corner. Ta da!

Located at the corner of 31st Street and 24th Avenue, the restaurant's address might sound familiar to anyone who has been to Astoria's Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden across the street - a great spot for entirely different, boozey, sloppy reasons. What makes Elias Corner worth the trip is the fantastic food, sure, but also the experience.

For starters, the restaurant is only open for dinner, and it does not accept reservations. Diners therefore start lining up early (the restaurant opens at 3:30pm on Sunday and 4:00pm Monday through Saturday), and they check out the fresh selections of the day in the glass display case up front. This is a most crucial step, because once seated at the table, there are no menus to peruse. The gruff waitstaff will rattle off options if you're completely clueless, but dishes to know before you go include the green salad (chopped romaine, feta, dill, scallions, and olive oil), Greek salad (large segments of tomato, feta, and cucumber), char grilled octopus, lobster, grilled zucchini, fried potatoes, and fish fish fish from red snapper to sea bass to St Peter's, served simply grilled with olive oil, herbs, and a squeeze of lemon if desired. Wine and beer are available, though hard liquor is not, and it is questionable as to whether or not they even serve dessert, as I have always been too full to care.

Chattering families and small groups treating dinner as the night's main event enjoy their meals either indoors or on the back deck when the weather is warm. An additional side room is also on the premises, but it is often closed and most likely used for private events. The tables in use are therefore turned rather quickly, but this thankfully means your meal is served without delay once you've finally been rewarded a seat for your patience. The energy of the space is frenetic, what with harried waitresses running platters to closely situated tables and the staff's tendency to bang through the door separating the indoor section from the back, but that's all part of the charm. If, however, this reads like a headache to you, it is best you stay home, Sir Grouch of Curmudgeon Estates.

One last noteworthy point: Elias Corner is a cash-only establishment. I know, I know, but are you really surprised? No menus and no credit cards but a lively and delicious meal. Doesn't sound like a bad trade off to me...and everyone else clamoring for a table.

Elias Corner - 24-02 31st Street at the corner of 24th Avenue in Astoria, Queens

Baoguette/Pho Sure

There is a Vietnamese restaurant in the West Village that makes me laugh. I'm not entirely sure if it's the menu items named "Pho Real" and "Pho Sure," or if it's the wall of painted ladies flashing side boob, but I'm amused whenever I'm there. It is casual, it is cheap, and most importantly, I enjoy my meal every time. Fo'real.

According to their website, Baoguette is a chain of Vietnamese sandwich shops (though I'm under the impression some of their locations have closed). The location we are discussing today, Baoguette/Pho Sure, is a sit-down restaurant with a take-out counter and a couple two-tops up front. You may therefore sit in a banquette under draped fabric hiding the air duct by the kitchen, or you may check yourself out in the mirrored wall as you wait for your order by the door. Either way, you'll end up with some flavorful food. Fo'sure.

Menu items include a green papaya salad ($6), sticky rice (with barbecue chicken, chinese sausage, scallion and peanuts, $8), various noodle dishes ($8-$13), and of course, the aforementioned Pho Real and Pho Sure (beef soups, $8). The expected spring and summer rolls are also available ($6-$8), as are multiple sandwich options (like spicy catfish, sloppy bao, and a couple vegetarian choices, $6-$8). My personal favorite is the "Baoguette Classic Banh Mi Sandwich," which is pate, pork, pickled daikon, carrots, cucumber, and cilantro on a warm homemade baguette, though I ask that the cilantro be omitted. (Hey, the Food Network's Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten, would do the same...because she doesn't like cilantro...or so she mentioned once...I think). You have the option of mild, medium, or spicy, and your answer determines how much Sriracha hot sauce is added. I implore you not to do what my sister did, cherished reader, which was douse her appetizer in Sriracha and then order her sandwich "spicy." That proved to be a sweaty mishap after which she never tasted anything again. Ok, not fo'real, but it was an intense lunch she will likely never repeat.

While you are dining, you might satisfy your thirst with grass jelly soy milk or young coconut juice. I tend to prefer Vietnamese iced coffee with its sweetened condensed milk, but you do you.

Go to Baoguette/Pho Sure when you want an inexpensive dinner in a relatively quiet space, as you rarely have to wait for a table. Otherwise, head over for take-out at lunch when the restaurant tends to be busier. As you wait for your meal, try guessing the age of the older woman who sometimes makes the sandwiches behind the front counter - I think she's 106. Fo'sure.

Baoguette/Pho Sure - 120 Christopher Street, between Bedford & Bleecker Streets

The Meatball Shop

As in fashion and finance, food has its trends. Remember when "small plates" and "snacks" popped up on every menu, even when you weren't in a tapas restaurant? It also wasn't long ago that cupcakes were everyone's favorite dessert - at least until the French macaron came on the scene. So what are we all excited about now? That's right, perceptive reader who checked out the title of this post - meatballs. Varied, tailored-to-your-liking meatballs...and ice cream sandwiches, but we'll get to that later, sweet cheeks.

The Meatball Shop opened in the first half of 2010, and the crowds are as amped as ever, packing into the Lower East Side joint* to get their meaty saucy fix. Be not offended, vegetarians, there are options for you too.

Here's how it works: 5 varieties of ball are available (classic beef, spicy pork, chicken, vegetable, and "special," which of course changes from day to day). These may be paired with any of 6 sauces (classic tomato, spicy meat, mushroom gravy, parmesan cream, pesto, and "special"). The options may be combined in a bowl (4 balls and sauce with a piece of focaccia, $7), as a slider (1 ball with sauce on a mini bun, $3), as a smash (2 balls, sauce, and mozzarella or provolone cheese on a brioche bun, $8), or as a hero (3 balls, sauce, and mozzarella or provolone cheese on a white or whole wheat Il Forno baguette, $9). You can also order side dishes (white beans, risotto, polenta, mashed potatoes, spaghetti, rigatoni, sauteed broccoli, steamed spinach, or roasted daily vegetables, $4), where said sides may be served in a separate dish or under the meatballs themselves on the same plate. Other options include "everything but the kitchen sink salad," which is basically what it sounds like for $8, and "family jewels," which means adding a fried egg to your selection for $1. The mixing and matching adds up to plenty of delicious results designed to your taste for reasonable prices, and that may or may not be what everyone is excited about most of all.

When determining which entree selection is best for your appetite, keep in mind the meatballs themselves are approximately the size of golf balls. No matter how much you eat, though, be sure to save room for dessert - or, don't save room, eat dessert anyway, and regret it later. Like everything else at this establishment, this too is your choice.

Dessert options include ice cream (ok, fine), ice cream floats with your choice of soda (better), and ice cream sandwiches (we haaaaave a winner!) You select which freshly baked cookie sounds best with which homemade ice cream, and allow me to blow your mind by mentioning you may choose two different cookies for each side of the sandwich. I must say, you really can't go wrong, but caramel on brownie and macaroon (the coconutty kind) is so so right.

So sit at the communal table with your roommate when neither one of you feels like cooking, at a two-top with your besty when comfort food is necessary to discuss the uncomfortable topic of how terrible her new boyfriend is, or at the bar with your wife who only knows how to cook ground meat one way (as meatloaf in red sauce, and you're gonna like it). If all seats are occupied when you arrive, the hostess will take your phone number and call when some are finally open. Rumor has it additional seats will be available in Williamsburg and the West Village when The Meatball Shop ultimately expands within the year*. Three places to enjoy the same goodness? They sure do love an option.

*UPDATE - They done did it. The Meatball Shop is now located on the Lower East Side, in Williamsburg and in the West Village.

The Meatball Shop - 84 Stanton Street, between Allen & Orchard Streets
The Meatball Shop - 170 Bedford Avenue, between N 7th & N 8th Streets, Brooklyn
The Meatball Shop - 64 Greenwich Avenue, between 7th Avenue S & Perry Street

Las Ramblas

Just as New York City is itself a relatively small space packed with a staggering amount of activity, so too are some of its great restaurant finds. A handful of these wee joints have been discussed here before (ohwhassup, Against the Grain? Check you out, Prune), and now you can add the tapas spot, Las Ramblas, to the list. Ok, so each part of your body is basically touching someone at every other table in the room, but you will ultimately savor authentic Spanish dishes, grow giddy from a variety of sangrias, and become somewhat mesmerized by the mini water feature streaming down one wall. All in all, not too bad. It's like the tourist who rides the subway for the first time - she finds she is pressed against the man who smells too much of human, but she gets to buy a purse off Canal Street downtown, catch a Broadway matinee in midtown, and cap off the evening with a drink uptown at the Met. If the hassle in either case sounds like too much for the reward, go back to Kansas, Shirleen!

So...Las Ramblas? It is named for the popular pedestrian street in Barcelona, which has more performance artists and less NYU students than the Greenwich Village street on which it is located here in New York. A small faux-street sign displaying the restaurant's name indicates you have arrived at the right spot wedged between noticeably larger venues on the nightlife-laden block. Once inside, the friendly staff will figure out where you too shall be wedged.

The menu boasts such classics as patatas bravas and croquetas de jamon, but the more adventurous eater might be delighted to find chanquetes fritos (fried smelts with a garlic, olive oil, lemon drizzle) or banderillas con chorizo de pato (mini skewers of duck sausage, quail eggs, and pearl onion). Nothing is particularly bizarre, so picky eaters need not fear. The options are enjoyably authentic, and perhaps more importantly, they are prepared well with quality ingredients. For instance, the chicken empanadas are straightforward and satisfying. Additionally, there's not much to a dish of boquerones (white marinated anchovies), but fresh and served over fried leeks, they're fantastic...that is, if you like white marinated anchovies...which I happen to do...though I recognize quite a few of you just dry-heaved a little.

Considering Las Ramblas does not take reservations, your best bet to promptly snag a tall stool at one of the raised tables is to head over for a late lunch, say, when your dad's in the city, and he found a parking spot across the street from the restaurant anyway. Otherwise, swing by for dinner on that "date" with your flirty but slightly crazy coworker who should certainly never ever be your girlfriend ever...probably. Or stop in with Shirleen from Kansas - she had a rough day on the subway and would appreciate a good meal.

Las Ramblas - 170 West 4th Street, between Jones & Cornelia Streets

Keens Steakhouse

Perhaps there are three ways in which you are familiar with mutton:

1. As chops on hipster faces.
2. In the phrase "mutton dressed as lamb." (See, your 55-year-old neighbor with the impressive collection of thigh-high boots).
3. As the only thing greater than true love according to Miracle Max.

For those who have been to Keens Steakhouse, mutton (basically the teenager of the lamb/sheep world) is perhaps that much more familiar to you. Though the restaurant stopped selling it some time ago, it is still listed on the menu, and they will serve you something close enough for your $45 (lamb aged approximately ten months).

However, mutton is only one notable element of the storied chophouse. The history begins in London with the Lambs Club, a famous theater and literary group. Its New York branch manager was Albert Keen, a theatrical producer who opened Keens in 1885. It was equipped with a pipe room, in which men would smoke thin-stemmed clay pipes, and the Pipe Club roster reportedly contained over ninety thousand names, including Babe Ruth, Albert Einstein, and Teddy Roosevelt. The club was for men only, until 1905 when actress (and reported inamorata of King Edward VII), Lillie Langtry, took Keens to court, won, swanned into the restaurant wearing a feather boa, and ordered the mutton - as any twentieth century actress dating the married King of England would.

Today, Keens still has the feel of an old gentleman's club given the rich wood throughout its rooms, leather-cushioned chairs at white linen-topped tables, framed faded portraits, and the occasional bust and moose head. Also, since Keens owns the world's largest collection of churchwarden pipes, thousands are hooked to the ceilings throughout the restaurant.

And yes, this is a restaurant after all, so what are we eating for unsurprisingly hefty prices? Meat lovers will be pleased to find "dry-aged on premise" USDA prime grade porterhouse, New York sirloin, T-bone, lamb chops, beef short ribs, and eight to twelve ounce portions of filet mignon in addition to the aforementioned mutton chops. Pescatarians will be happy to note the menu includes oysters, Maryland crab cakes, shrimp cocktail, jumbo lump crab cocktail, Dover sole, pan-seared Loch Duart salmon, and two to six pound steamed Maine lobsters. Vegetarians are not to worry either, for Keens serves four types of salad, five preparations of potatoes, and several side dishes from creamed spinach to carrots with brown butter to sauteed escarole to roasted cauliflower and a few other prepared vegetables along the way. You'll want to stay away from the parmesan brussels sprouts, though, unless you're the kind of vegetarian who eats bacon.

So head to Keens for grandpa's birthday, for your not-so-bright son's acceptance to law school (phew), or for a seat at the bar to spy on that one hipster's blind date with your 55-year-old neighbor. If they don't find true love, at least they can enjoy the one thing greater.

Keens - 72 West 36th Street, between 5th & 6th Avenues

Bacardi Party

On Sunday, December 12th, I attended an event sponsored by Bacardi rum, and there's no reason why I should keep that information to myself. Well, the glaringly obvious reason is that this is a blog about restaurants, and the event took place at the Angel Orensanz Foundation (a synagogue turned art gallery and event space), but bartenders from around this great city competed for cocktail greatness, and I think that's something we can all get behind...especially you booze hounds.

It was the New York leg of the Legacy of the Cocktail Competition (the first two having been in Dallas and Chicago) in which twenty-three bartenders were required to use seven ingredients to create a new Bacardi Superior Rum based cocktail. The three winners advance to the national finals in Miami, Florida in February, and the best of the best goes on to represent the USA in the global finals in Sitges, Spain in April.

So which hometown kid shall we cheer on to win it all? Our three New York winners and contenders are Brian Matthys of Tribeca's restaurant, Compose, with his "Head in the Clouds," Roberto Fuentevilla of the Lower East Side's tiki-themed bar, Painkiller, with his "El Alcalde Daiquiri," and Tomas Delos Reyes of the Meatpacking District's Boom Boom Room at The Standard Hotel with his "Downtown." Since it wasn't made clear what ingredients comprise these various cocktails (besides rum, of course), you'll have to swing by the bartenders' respective establishments to find out. Sounds like a fun night to me! That is, if you have the time, deep pockets (a dinner at Compose reportedly costs $100 to $150 for a ten-course tasting), and the clout to get in (the Boom Boom Room has seen the likes of Madonna, Jude Law, and Donna Karan, while Compose serves only 10 diners per night with 20 more guests permitted at the bar).

While the competition took place on the main level of the space, press enjoyed a tasting of three rums in the mezzanine. The first was Bacardi Anejo, a mixable rum aged for up to three years and available for approximately $16 per bottle. The second was Bacardi Solera, a single-barrel sipping rum aged in oak casks and available for $20 to $23 per bottle. The third was Bacardi Reserva Limitada, and sorry folks, but this one's not yet available in the US. Aiming for a twelve-year target, this rum is a blend of ten through sixteen year old rums, and it may currently be purchased in Puerto Rico, St Maarten, Bermuda, Aruba, Barbados, and the Bahamas for $100 to $150 duty free.

"Why can't we get it here?!" you scream during the night as you awaken in a cold sweat. The answer is that a lot of aged product does not exist, as the tropical climates in which Bacardi is produced lend to faster evaporation and maturation. With a six to ten percent loss in the first year of aging, you are basically left with an empty barrel twenty years down the line - or so said the Bacardi Brand Master Apprentice conducting the tasting, and I chose to believe him, figuring you do not earn a title like Brand Master (apprentice or not) for spewing lies.

Now that we must wait to see who is the ultimate cocktail competitor in the finals of the Legacy of the Cocktail Competition, we should kick back with mojitos, pina coladas, mai tais, or whatever other rum based drink tickles your fancy. If you book a flight to St Maarten in order to try the Bacardi Reserva Limitada, you should probably know that I prefer a window seat.